Head Master: School Bans Hair To The Perpendicular
HEADMASTER Mark Perry, of noble brow, says all pupils who gel their hair to “more than a 90-degree angle” will be rusticated.
Says one 15-year-old at St Peter’s Church of England Aided School in Exeter, Devon: “How does our hairstyle affect our learning. We are very upset.”
On the contrary.
Anorak wonders if a hair can be stood at an angle of greater then 90 degrees? Is not 90 degrees the maximum, or is Mr Perry using the Greek system and measuring from the nape only?
Discuss. And show workings…
Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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October 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 am
Get the parents to sign a contract of what is and is not allowed in schools. Lets get a bit of order into the system. Heads of schools should lay down the laws of the school before the kids are allowed in and the parents and in secodary education, the kids also should be bound by the rules and sign a document to say that they will adhere to them. It is not a jot of good telling a kid they cant wear whatever to school if they were not aware of the ban before they joined the school. Quite frankly - I think that anyone who wants to wear their hair in such a manner should be allowed to - what does it really matter if every other kid in the school is laughing at them? Any academic wouldnt need to be noticed by their hair, they would gain admiration from their results in class. Schools and working kids can do without the hairstyle kids - they are just a hinderance to learning. Anyway - must dash off to bed now, got a hairdressing appointment in the morning to get my flouescent burgendy highlights (apparently they are the thing to get for the over 60’s so I gotta be in there!!)
night everyone
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:46 am
I share this with the Anorak community even though it likely highlights my deficiencies as a parent. Little ‘un came in from school (on report for not taking her books with her) the other day. She mooned about looking like she wanted to say something as I growled and signed the report card. “Out with it.” I said, and the following conversation ensued…
Her: “Dad, I’ve got an OCD”
Me: “It had better be f**king hilarious.”
Her: “I can’t write on little pieces of paper.”
Me: “Go to your room.”
[In her school at least, the OCD seems to have replaced cutting oneself, bulimia, anorexia et al. I wish this was made up, I really do]
October 1st, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I still have a fond memory of a fellow school girl who boiled her beret until it was so small that it could be hidden entirely under her hair.
And we didn’t even have hair gel in those days…
October 1st, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Place semicircular protractor on top of pupil’s head between the two hemispheres of his/her ADHD addled brain with the zero mark of the upper layer of 180° gradations above the bridge of the nose. Ignore the lower set of (0 to 90 and back to 0) numbers.
Measure angle of hair.
Send Billy Whizz back out onto the sports field where he belongs. Think of 2012 and the medals rolling in. Keep fingers crossed that white cider is not a performance-enhancing drug.
[Please sir...I don't know if gradations was the right word...I wasn't paying attention in English either]
October 1st, 2008 at 11:31 am
Another English student said
‘No ones chopping my nuts off over my hair, I ain’t done nothing’