Anorak News » Blog Archive » A Free Knife With Every Hoodie

THERE’S a great twofor deal at TK Maxs: shoppers can buy a hoodie and get a free knife stitched into the lining.

The Sun gives its front page over to the news that: “T.K Maxx sell jackets with knives sewn in.”

For just £59 shoppers can buy a jacket that doubles as an urban survival aide. Says one kebab shop regular:

“It’s great. If the boffins can put an optic of curry sauce in the zip, it will be greatest invention since the chainsaw.”

Inside and in “FOOL METAL JACKET,” the Sun shows a youth in school tie done up to the neck and clean blue jumper pulling the knife from his coat’s lining.

One word to the wise though, the knife is on a chain. Anorak recalls the lonely days of yore when a good and loyal child would be bullied for having his gloves secured to his anorak with a strip of elastic. Whyyyyyy?

Caution, dear shopper. Buying this jacket may put you in line for ridicule and accusations that you are namby-pamby mother’s boy. Revenge will be doing well at school, having clean nails and etc…

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Anorak

Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink

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chenier says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:57 am

You can me to the list, Petronius.

However, I am female, so maybe I’m the only female who climbed trees for the sheer thrill of discovering that I had no bloody idea of how to get down again.

I think I may have been a cat in previous incarnations…

Petronius says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 am

I thought climbing up a tree and then not knowing how the Friar Tuck to get back down again after the sense of achievement was unique to me.

Disappointed of C. London.

Fully Secured Bank Funding Pigeon says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:35 am

How things have changed. One of my birthday presents when I was about 10 was a swiss army knife. I barely had enough strength to pull the blades out with my little fingers and lost about three nails trying to get the saw blade out. My imagination used to run riot with all the things I could do with the knife but I could never figure out how to use the needle blade. Anyway, my initials were carved in many a tree top as I used to climb trees those days, don’t suppose you’re allowed to do it nowadays, climbing right to the top and swaying about in the branches feeling proud then shitting yourself wondering how the heck you were going to get back down. I used to slip and hold on for dear life at times, sometimes crying out for help but noone ever came so you had to slide down the trunk with branches sticking up your arse and in your armpit and then jump from what seemed like a massive height byt was probably only about 10ft into the stingers below. I miss those days of complete abandonment and thinking I was an ‘army man’ or tree logger or something whatever it was. Days used to last like weeks do and the amount of times I used to have to be called in by my mum for dinner but tried to asee how long I could last being out before I got really done for by dad. There was none of what we see now and it’s all down to imagination. Why have they lost their imagination? I know one thing for certain I don’t think I’ve ever lost mine. I’m still like a big kid as like to go camping all year in the woods and am always going night fishing on secluded lakes with the imagination running riot as to what is out there both in the thicket and the lake itself. This imagination is being passed down to my son and I can see his is also healthy. I think they should teach this stuff at schools…..I’m sure it wouldn’t do any harm and then TK Maxx could sell a jacket with a penknife in it but then we’d get the headlines about too many trees being hurt because of all the initials..