Starbucks Creates Skinny Rain And Foamy Seas

STARBUCKS’ coffee drones are required to leave the taps on all day in their shops.

“In STARBERKS”, the Sun leads with news that the coffee chain “wastes 23 million litres of water a day”. How so?

“That would be enough to fill an Olympic Swimming pool every 83 minutes.” Although, given the impending London 2012 Olympic Games, that represent not a waste but an investment in the country’s future.

Of course, Starbucks pays for its water, and Sun readers may have heard whispers of the water cycle, in which water that goes down the plug hole magically finds its was backs into the seas or the sky, from where it falls as skinny rain.

As readers look at the rain falling, the Sun says that every Starbucks branch has a tap which runs into a “dipper well”, used for the washing of spoons and “utensils”.

Each day this water “is the daily water requirement for a town the size of Matlock, Derbyshire.”

Readers may wonder which we need more: Matlock or 698 branches of American coffee shop? And do note that Matlock features a Christmas ice rink, which contains enough water to clean utensils at 345 branches of Starbucks.

The Sun’s man is on it, and: “In Bristol a tap was seen running full on for 15 minutes.” Locals report seeing a man with notebook watching the tap and checking his watch.

No waste there, just investigative journalism at its finest.

Water, water, every where,
And all the mums did drink coffee;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink…

Unless it comes pre-packed in a bottle…

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Anorak

Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink