Philips Unleashes Sex Toy Range
DUTCH corporation Koninklijke Philips Electronics (Royal Philips Electronics) is to unleash a range of sex toys.
The Intimate Massage Range is: Warm Intimate Massage; the Warm Massage; and Intimate Dual Massage.
Says a spokeswhore:
“They are attractive to look at, targeted at the over-35 market, designed like beautiful stones with contours that vibrate and in a tasteful purple case.
“You would not be embarrassed to leave the product in full view of the family. The products are marketed for couples, are non-penetrative, not phallic shaped and are not meant to replace the partner but to enhance the sex life of both partners.”
Stones me…
Posted: 15th, September 2008 | In: Money, Twitterings Comments (18) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- The Real Stig on The Great Cathay Pacific Blocked Toilet Mystery
- SoDak-GhostDog on Interview With Survior Of James Arthur Ray’s Sedona Sweat Lodge
- Katie Norman on I’m A Celebrity: Joe Bugner’s Career In Pictures
- HOTWATER on Madeleine McCann: The Media Creates A New Maddie Monster And Twists The Facts
- yampster on Dundee Woman Accused Of Ripping Out Lover’s Testes With Her Bare Hands
September 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Kevin, I agree with you 100 percent, but then I talk patent bollocks most of the time.
September 16th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Nick, you will no doubt have spotted that appending the word ‘technically’ to any statement will have me reaching for the offswitch; remember that I am grappling with Vista here…
September 16th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Chenier, technically a light bulbs primary purpose is to be used in the dark…
o_O
September 15th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
We men, however, if we are mad enough to believe that a gift of a lurve toy is appropriate - should be forced to look for them in surgical supply shops on dusty trading estates out of town. The kind where an emphysemic one-eyed shopkeeper glares at you from behind a rack of trusses while you hurriedly select something that you think isn’t going to replace you in her affections.
September 15th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
To be fair; the idea is not exactly new - the only reason this is such news it is simply the fact that is represents such a big diversion for what is after all an electronics firm.
Emotional Bliss massagers are also non-penetrative massagers - the difference being that they really are female-friendly.
Alice
September 15th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
In that case have a machine that holds your hair while you’re being sick, then rubs your feet until you drift off. It then carries you to bed without pestering for anything, makes breakfast just before you wake, and puts the bins out. THEN it tells you how good you look as you leave the house.
September 15th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
That would leave considerable problems for those of us who don’t drive…
September 15th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I also thought that the preferred sex toy for the 35-55 year old woman was a 20-25 year old man.
I suspect that a satnav that tells you how good you look today will eventually replace all us chaps anyway.
September 15th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I am the first to concede that XYs have their plus points.
I have never noticed map reading skills to be amongst them…
September 15th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
a map reading one on the other hand…..
September 15th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Bearing in mind that it’s targeted at 35-55 year old couples, do you really think anyone’s going to buy them?
How sad do you have to be to say to yourself that you need sex toys for the middle aged?
Not only to yourself, but to the person at the till.
We are in ‘You are never alone with a Strand’ territory…
September 15th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
The laydees should be allowed this though, purchased discreetly from reputable shops. You know - clothing, shoe, any shops with a line of bored-looking men standing with bags outside while their beloveds browse to their hearts content within.
We men, however, if we are mad enough to believe that a gift of a lurve toy is appropriate - should be forced to look for them in surgical supply shops on dusty trading estates out of town. The kind where an emphysemic one-eyed shopkeeper glares at you from behind a rack of trusses while you hurriedly select something that you think isn’t going to replace you in her affections.
“Can it drive?”
“hrrrk…cough..no, of course not.”
“Right,. I’ll have this one then.”
September 15th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I used to work for Phillips, frequently late for work, the teasmade…..
September 15th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
…..and the next step is to market exercise machines so that the happy couples will be able to face keeping the lights on whilst grappling with the tasteful purple covered stones…
September 15th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I suspect that this was the result of one of those desperate brain storming sessions where people run things up the flagpole to see if anyone salutes…
September 15th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I had a temperamental Philips TV once that would only return to life after a good thump on the top of it. Is nocturnal suburbia soon to be filled with the sound of these things being thwacked off bedside tables? If so, it’ll make a night-time walk home sound like a mass distributed Gene Krupa solo. Flim. Flam. Paradiddle.
September 15th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
In my opinion, Sex Toys won’t be good for the brand in long-term basis. The brand may get attention and some money now with your pseudo-dildos but don’t forget that Philips recently acquired the babycare and/or mothercare company called Avent. Whatta hell Philips executives plan to do?
September 15th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Phillips made its money marketing light bulbs; it’s taken them 80 years to come up with a product which can be used in the dark…