Hefner’s New Teenage Tango Twins
HUGH Hefner, patron saint of Viagra, has pulled Kristina and Karissa Shannon. And in time for Halloween, too. Every holiday is milestone when you’re Hef.
Pass the 19-year-old pumpkins. If you open their mouths and put a candle inside, you can see them thinking.
Says Heff:
“They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends.”
He needs them as nightlights. But what if one the twins loses her youthful glow? Hef has a spare:
A college senior from Georgia whom Hefner identifies as Amy Leigh Andrews is also waiting in the wings. “She was testing here this past weekend,” Hef says of the centerfold wannabe, “and she said she’d like to be a girlfriend, too.”
Wonder what form the testing takes? Anorak imagines Hef is shown pictures of vitmain jar lids popping to get him in teh mood. Then Amy Leigh walks in dressed as a nurse…
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Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities Comments (36) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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October 10th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
A man must stand by his principles, Chenier…and on his flip-flops.
Also, I may be thoroughly mistaken, but I could swear that The Rabbit was a different product to that non-functioning lightsabre up there.
October 10th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
That’s one Sugar Daddy that ain’t too sweet - I hear Hugh flip flops….
October 10th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Well, I’m pleased to see that you are upholding your principles, but my point about the repulsiveness of the bunny-logo’d guy remains.
Though it has dawned on me that possibly that incredibly well selling item currently gracing the top of another thread may have acquired its name as a riposte to Mr Hefner’s idea of fun…
October 10th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Chenier, I know lots of people with 8, 9, 10 - up to 16 year (and beyond, with the foolish) old daughters who want a Playboy jacket, or mirror, or pen and diary set. I don’t mind the feelth (the magazine) - we men will be men. It is the conversion of that into a widespread sanitised product line for girls who have no idea who he really is, or what he does that makes me want him to breathe his last not in the company of a bunny, but in the toilet - on the floor with a broken hip - and no-one around to help him.
That, and the fact that at 82 all a man should want is his slippers, pipe - and as much time as possible in the shed away from the wife. There must be other, younger pornographers (or even plain old businessmen) who Hef is denying their chances with a gold-digger. Be fair, Hef. Share the wealth.
October 10th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Hugh Hefner is lots of things but silly isn’t one of them. No way is he going to have either another wife or more children to challenge his fortune.
October 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Magnetite, you are putting the boot in pretty hard, are you not?
Not complaining, just observing.
In fact, could you give him a few kicks from me while you are at it?
Many years ago, when the Playboy club still existed, I was on a flight from London to Madrid, a stopover to South America. We sat in the plane, and the plane sat at Heathrow, and it didn’t take off.
It transpired that we were awaiting a special passenger, whose daddy, or possibly uncle, owned wherever it was the plane was ultimately bound, and I was placated by the upgrade to first class, which was a mistake.
At last the special passenger arrived, and he was undoubtedly the most repulsive guy I have ever clapped eyes. He was wearing a playboy logo’d shirt and he leered a lot.
Indeed, he leered all the way to Madrid, and I had to get the stewardess to guard the door to the loo when I wished to use it.
So put the boot in for me, dear Magnetite…
October 10th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Ah, Hef. I hope that there is a Hell. As an 82-year old, you yourself will be a youthful and fresh-faced ‘Plaything of the Millennium’ to demonic creatures who (may) have existed for aeons. The reversal of roles that would ensue is delightful.
And your tears and cries for mercy will be their Viagra…their Viagra, Hef.
October 10th, 2008 at 3:19 am
Cheryl - now that jogs my memory. Poor Hef - he has just found out why apparently.
October 10th, 2008 at 3:16 am
One would think that years ago with his lifestyle he would have had the vas to go from a working model to a sports model, so not to worry about fathering more children.
Lyn, men don’t lose their ability to sire children anywhere near the ages women lose their ability to conceive more children. Men have been known to father children into their 80’s!
October 10th, 2008 at 2:42 am
New news - Hef now has found out he can’t father a child. What man can at his age!
October 9th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
News!! Holly Madison has gone, the other two girls may go, and now Hugh is alone, and lonely. Serves him right, Holly wanted to marry him and have his children, Hef said no.
If Hef isn’t careful, this could spell the end for him if he overdoes it. Nice chap though.
October 9th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
The poor chap looks as if he’s forgotten to put his false teeth back in…
October 9th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Look at the picture - the two ’sweeties’ are looking at the camera all smiles with hopes of dollars in their eyes. He is sitting there just staring with a dazed look on his face, that man is long past the stud stage.
October 9th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Well, you are clearly well ahead of me in the good taste stakes, Cool and Calm.
It’s such a hideous picture, isn’t it?
October 9th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I really really wanted to comment on ’sticking staples in centrefolds’ but decided against it on the grounds of good taste!
October 9th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Thank heaven for that; I know your brother’s birthday was yesterday, but for one awful moment I was wondering whether you are, in fact, an 82 year old billionaire moonlighting when you should be sticking staples into centrefolds…
October 9th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
old enough to know better chernier
October 9th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
MONEY!!!!
October 9th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I think we had better not ask how old Fully Secured Bank Funding Pigeon is…
October 9th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Yes, that’s probably it!
October 9th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
a man of wisdom and experience maybe?
October 9th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I can’t figure out exactly what it is that these two 19 year old girls, with their whole lives ahead of them, see in an 82 year old clapped out multi- billionaire? hmmm???
October 9th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Too many little blue pills at one time, Chenier, is guaranteed to be quite deadly! A friend of a friend of mine is buried proof of that!
Alas, Chenier, I have a feeling we may well have another N.R. headline-making demise on our hands down the road!
October 9th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
And all the “celeb in jail” publicity might save his doomed empire from total collapse.
October 9th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Well, it would be a new experience for him; a silicon free environment might cheer him up no end…
October 9th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Personally I have no idea what to do with 16-year-olds.
I just read about the laws in Illinois, and the age of consent is 17 apparently, so having 16-year-olds could land the old guy in jail.
October 9th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Nasal sprays, that is; I didn’t realise Jack was queuing up to get his oar in…
October 9th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I shall resist the temptation to ask what you are supposed to do with it and go and inspect Saul’s efforts on the dildo front…
October 9th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
It’s disappointing that they’re that old. I would have thought that Hef would be going for 16-year-olds at his age.
October 9th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
apparently a nasal spray is all the rage these days.
October 9th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Lots of little blue pills?