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Anorak | 10 Ways Yo Kill Your Pet And Get Away With It

10 Ways Yo Kill Your Pet And Get Away With It

by | 20th, October 2008

WANT to know how to kill your pet? A survey by a pet insurance company says:

PlayStations and iPods have emerged as greater threats to the nation’s pets than traditional dangers found in the home such as tumble driers, washing machines and electric cables.

Which might mean that if you own an iPod, PlayStation or some other electronic device, your premiums might be higher. What are the odds on an insurance company discovering that, eh?

The Guardian notes:

According to the survey, iPods are most likely to cause injury to cats; rabbits are particularly at risk from Sony PlayStations; while the biggest dangers to guinea pigs come from DVD players and remote controls.

Readers are free to draw their own conclusions as to why a rabbit should be fatally attracted to a games machine, or why a guinea pig would be left alone to work the DVD player.

The Telegraph has a list of the Top 10 gadgets most likely in injure pets – a must read for all you pet-haters looking to make your beast pay in a time of crunching credit and claim the insurance money:

1) iPod (15 per cent)
2) Laptop (10.8 per cent)
3) Remote Control (10.8 per cent)
4) Plasma TV (10.8 per cent)
5) Wii (10 per cent)
6) DVD Player (10 per cent)
7) Playstation (8.3 per cent)
8) Nintendo DS (5.8 per cent)
9) Mobile Phone (5.8 per cent)
10) Karaoke Machine (5.8 per cent)

Anorak’s Top Ten ways to kill your pet and get away with it:

1. Borrow a bigger pet and get it to eat your pet
2. Try to milk it
3. Invite TV adventurer Bear Grylls over. He will hollow out by pet camel/bear/Rottweiler and live in it for a week
4. Show your pet pictures of more successful and better looking pets and hope it becomes suicidal
5. Smear meat paste onto the rear bumper of next door’s reversing car
6. Teach your parrot to sing Gary Glitter songs
7. Report your donkey missing and tell the police about goings on at the Somali community centre
8. Walk your pet chicken into a branch of KFC, and wait
9. Invite Pete Doherty round for crackers
10. Tuck your tortoise under the scales at Weight Watchers club meet

And more…



Posted: 20th, October 2008 | In: Strange But True Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink