Dead Pool: Top Ten New Magazines For 2008
IN a recession you get your money out of restaurants and magazines.
The recession might be the cue for the celebrity cull, the time when the EU’s Celebrity Mountain will be poured and spread over a Ukraine soya bean farm.
But, what’s this?! New magazines are staring up. And, no they’re not all about discount burials, celebrity cellulite and the secrets of scratchcards.
Here are the 10 news magazines on the newsstands; and – yes - they are in order of how long we think they will last:
1. THE AMERICAN DOG
The American Dog
www.theamericandogmag.com
$5.95
Dogs for dog enthusiasts.
Sure to be dropping though the letter boxes of bullied American girls for many years to come…
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2. MAKING BABIES
Read about people having sex in a totally sexless manner. American not heavilt into porn will lap it up…
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3. PAIN PATHWAYS
Are you in pain? want to get rid of that painb. You can either spend your money on cannabis resin or this magazine - “a quarterly magazine designed to address the needs and interests of people living with chronic, acute and cancer pain”
The cruel truth of a magazine for people in chronic pain that comes out only four time a year will not be lost on readers of Depression Yearly.
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4. MOTORPSYCHO
Because physcos who ride motorbikes like to read about other pyschos who ride motorbikes…
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5. BONE-FIDE-MUTTS
Geddit. Bone-fide. Geddit? It’s a one-hit magazine.
It’s a one-joke magazine. You own a mutt and yet you will spend $4.99 on a magazine that tells you how to, what, keep your mutt looking happy and dirty?
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6. DISTILL
No, not another wine mag - “As its name suggests, Distill is a distillation of the very best fashion and style editorial from across the globe.”
Since this can all be distilled onto “Fabulous” or “Yuck”, the mag may become repetitive…
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7. AMERICA MAKES FAST QUILTS
Fast Cuts…Fast Quilts - Welcome to the world of precut fabrics!
Welcome!
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8. HYBRID MOM
Run!
Read about them to best avoid them.
Then run…
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9. BOOMER MAGAZINE
The first and only lifestyle magazine devoted exclusively to today’s baby boomer generation in the Midwest and beyond.
Will there be many competitors. Well… No.
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10. WELL HUNG HUNKS
You earn your money where you can…
Posted: 23rd, October 2008 | In: Media, The Dead Pool Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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October 26th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
“Do you guys need an copyeditor/proofreader? My services are available.”
Heh,
“an copyeditor”
When the word following ‘an’ or ‘a’ starts with a consonant use ‘a.’
When the word following starts with a vowell use ‘an.’
There are a few exceptions but in the vast majority of circumstances the general rule applies.
Remember, support the Females as Property Movement so as to save western civilization from destruction.
Females must be denied voting priveleges for the good of males, society as a whole and not forcing the girlies to have to think and behave as adults will remove a terrible burden from the floozies that is a constant burden to their sub-par intellect.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Obbop has left the building.
October 24th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Do you guys need an copyeditor/proofreader? My services are available.
October 24th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
This article would have been much more enjoyable, if it weren’t for all
the spelling mistakes.
October 24th, 2008 at 3:46 am
The Dump Your Dame (DYD) movement hopes to assemble a reasonable facsimile of some sort of convoluted mainstream print magazine at some point in the not-too-distant future.
An adjunct to the highly-acclaimed and increasingly popular Females as Property Movement (FPM), DYD is the male backlash against the growing oppression of the male gender by a society gone wild in demonizing that which is male; especially that which revolves around Alpha Maleness.
Self-preservation has demanded right-minded males to abandon their oppressors, leaving them to fend for themselves and to rely upon cats for mammalian kinship.
Let the daffy dames cuddle with their four-legged fur-face for the solace the emotion-laden irrational creatures deem is their just reward for simply being female… and possessing mamallian protrusions… among other things we will not delve into here.
Watch your news stands and local magazine racks for the exciting first issue!!!