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Anorak | Paedos For Halloween: Five Way To Survive The Night Of Terror

Paedos For Halloween: Five Way To Survive The Night Of Terror

by | 28th, October 2008

HALLOWEEN. Dust off those platform heels, fright wigs and flashing “LEADER!” headlights.

“… looking for their next victim. Is your child next? Call the University of Michigan Law School at … and ask them why their graduates want your children to be raped.”

Althouse writes:

There’s a new court decision blocking a state law that “prohibits ‘all Halloween-related contact with children’ and allows sexual offenders to leave their homes from 5 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. only if they have ‘just cause,'” and Happyshooter, a commenter at Volokh Conspiracy, spins out a spoof of the sort of attack ads that are aimed at the judges who must stand for re-election.

Of course, they should have “Paedo” writ on their doors in flour and water.

There’s the door now…

“Trick or treat?”

Go on. What’s it to be, homeowner?

Trick? Well, don’t expect one of the lovelies to show you his close up magic.

Treat? Give the kiddies some sweets, Go on, strange man, give the kiddies some more sweets. Better yet, leave a trail of sweets from the front door to a small room under the stairs that houses your collection of Gary Glitter memorabilia.

It’s all terrifically unsafe, a social minefield of paedo, clean shirt, shirt lifting, nonce hell.

Thankfully Anorak now delivers to you 5 ways to survive Halloween:

  • Write “Peado” on your front door in red paint the night before
  • Cover your driveway in melted sweets and treacle and when the children knock open the door and wave a huge net about your head
  • Wrap all sweets in exercise book paper on which you have written the word “Roofies” and doodled pictures of platform shoes
  • “Tonight Matthew, I am Gary Glitter”
  • Reply “trick”, and while dressed as Debee McGee shove a foot-long sword though a marshmallow effigy of Paul Daniels

Good luck…

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Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Reviews Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink