Potato Wedgies: Vicar Gets Spud Stuck In Rectum
PLEASE turn in your Sun prayer books to page 29 and read aloud:
A VICAR turned up in agony at a hospital — with a potato stuck in his bottom.
Amen. And how so?
The clergyman told stunned casualty nurses he fell backwards on to his kitchen table while hanging curtains.
Tis majestic visions of wonder. Some questions to ponder of this fateful day:
- Can curtain hanging while naked be part of Christianity?
- Is standing at an undressed windows naked a sing of the credit crunch?
- Are curtains in the kitchen ever acceptable?
- How large is the potato and was it peculiarly shaped, resembling a penis, a carrot or a small aroused choir boy?
Other objects removed from inside the person in the Sheffield regions:
A can of deodorant (poo!)
A cucumber (are you getting your five a day?)
A Russian doll (surely dolls?)
A carnation (happy anniversary).
Says A & E nurse Trudi Watson:
“He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato. But it’s not for me to question his story.”
It is for a higher power. Amen.
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Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Strange But True Comments (19) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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November 4th, 2008 at 12:39 am
This is a very sad and unfortunate accident, obviously. Please can someone tell me what the photo at the ‘head’ of this article portrays and how it relates to the ’story’. I was looking for spuds in the photo but perhaps that is actually a crocquet in the process of being covered in golden breadcrumbs.
Future ’story’ = I was defrosting my freezer in the nude so as not to get my clothes wet, I had already put some of the contents on the floor behind me. The final basket drawer proved to be a little stubborn and as I tugged the frozen plastic, the whole thing came away unexpectably. Unfortunately the frozen croquet potatoes were strategically placed behind me and got stuck up my bottom.
November 1st, 2008 at 2:19 am
The priest was actulaly playing muscial chairs with others in the kitchen after hanging curtains, it got hot, and they all disrobed, and decided to play - musical chairs. Only problem was, they had to take the potatos off first!
October 31st, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Coolandcalm! Love that!
October 31st, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Oh Lord, now I go back to school.
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? he worked it out with a pencil.
apologies, really really apologies… suddenly I am twelve again and sniggering.
October 31st, 2008 at 6:32 pm
many years ago, a male nurse friend told me of a woman who turned up in casualty with an orange stuck in her “front bottom”
her excuse?
she was jumping over the coffee table in her nightclothes, when she slipped and fell onto the fruit bowl. LOL
Also, many years ago, my mum was a doctor’s receptionist and a man came in with a carrot stuck up his bum, his excuse…… he had constipation!
October 31st, 2008 at 6:13 pm
This reminds me of an old newspaper I saw where a man had been charged with
having sex with a sheep (It was NOT the Press & Journal)
His defence was he was having a pee and it backed into him. He was found guilty,
funnily enough.
The P & J is published in Aberdeen.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:40 pm
June….. I’ve been wasting time looking at old long forgotten ads.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Thank you, June.
I am looking at my bathroonm with a fresh eye; what else have I been missing out on?
On second thoughts, ignore it…
October 31st, 2008 at 5:11 pm
It was actually made to fit ones hand Chenier.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
remember Cadum for Madam?
I’ve got the sodding persil ad running through now, oh bummer
October 31st, 2008 at 5:09 pm
camay ad. Make of it what you will…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmgrTl5SH7U&feature=related
October 31st, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Jeez, looks like that things been dipped in coco.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:59 pm
also excellent lather….
I’m trying desperately to remember the Camay Ad!
.>>>>>>>>>>>
Chenier said……. I think I probably would have preferred to carry on in ignorance…..
er… would you like to rephrase that?
October 31st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Sort of longer and narrower than normal soap, tried to find a pix but they were all shy and kept their wrappers on…
October 31st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
What was the Camay shaped like?
October 31st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Chenier
Don’t remind me. The Killers were going to be on….
October 31st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
C&C
I have long wondered why roll-on deodorants are shaped the way they are.
I think I probably would have preferred to carry on in ignorance…
October 31st, 2008 at 4:20 pm
we like links like this!
Many years ago a journo friend did a feature (possibly for Cosmo?) on this subject and one of the funniest was the Bar of Camay Soap. Why did it have to be Camay I wondered? still wonder in fact….
The roll-on deodorant was most popular with women.
The potato above, impressive though it is, does revive horrible memories of Esther Rantzen and her veggies.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Wow! If I could get spuds like that I would not bother with men!
And it wouldn’t be pushing me to go out to dinner when all I want to do is sit and watch Jonathan Ross on TV.
Come to think of it - I’ll have fuck all to do tonight now Rossy’s on suspension!