Anorak | Gary Glitter Teaches GCSE Students How To Sparkle

Gary Glitter Teaches GCSE Students How To Sparkle

by | 10th, November 2008

GLITTER remains on open sale, Glitter bins lurk in our parks and on our pavements and now to compound the madness Gary Glitter is to be studied by GCSE students.

And not students of crime, rather students in music.

“OUTRAGE,” screams the Sun’s own leader. “OUTRAGE,” echoes the Mail. “OUTRAGE,” screams the chorus.

Readers see a list of songs approved for study by the Assessment and Qualification Alliance exam board.
Says one deputy headmaster “a dad of two”:

“Boys and girls of 15 or 16 who select this song will go straight to the Internet to find Glitter’s music. I dread to think what they will find searching online for him.”

Whatever they do discover on their Paedo PCs , they will have plenty to time to mull it over as they languish in one of the country’s many young offenders’ units. Rest assured, Government operatives are watching the kidz’ every move online, keeping them safe from voyeurs, pervs and peeping toms.

Other more wholesome songs on the AQA are as follows. Anorak has studied each song in turn, and shown our workings. These are all genuine songs on the list:

Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody

A tribute to gun crime, as any fuel nose:

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead

Mum turns him into the cops. His crimes are attributed to his cannabis use and the felon ends up in a secure ward:

I see a little silhouetto of a man…
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Gary Glitter, Gary Glitter,
Gary Glitter, Gary Glitter…

An offer is made…

But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

But needs must. Money changes

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Posted: 10th, November 2008 | In: News Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink