Comments on: Police Nab Nobby Beach Man With Penis In Pasta Jar

By: Steve

Steve — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 21:05:42 +0000

Dolmio days will never be the same

By: Simon

Simon — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:59:44 +0000

Why would he have a dog with him? Do you think it has something to do with that pasta sauce? Maybe he tried to entice the dog into- actualy, no. I don’t think I really want to speculate….

By: Albert Hurwood

Albert Hurwood — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:23:13 +0000

He just wanted a hot date

By: Pamela

Pamela — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:00:26 +0000

Manicotti! How farfalle some men will go al forno penne!

Orzo I hear.

By: magnetite

magnetite — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:02:28 +0000

Oh, and a 750ml jar too, Weatherley? Are to trying to brag? Why didn’t you just do it in a Pringles tube or one of those metre-long Toblerone boxes you only see at Christmas? I hope your wife is serving only live langoustines in a basket next time you’re planning a little car-jacking, you show-off!

By: June

June — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:59:13 +0000

Oh Gods

By: coolandcalm

coolandcalm — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:21:51 +0000

come on…. ten out of ten for recycling.

By: Grande Finale

Grande Finale — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:28:30 +0000

That’s pasta joke that is

By: lyn

lyn — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:19:26 +0000

Hope the RSPCA took the dog away from this idiot! Leave PPM (pasta penis man to his pasta jar, take the other stuff away, put him in a dark, cold place, and let him - well, I will have to think!

By: magnetite

magnetite — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:08:18 +0000

You have to admire the man’s dedication. Not only did he maintain a police chase (albeit at just above walking pace) while still trying to crack one off, but four…count ‘em, FOUR…officers hitting him with batons and dousing him in pepper spray couldn’t deter him from continuing his carbonara capers. That’s Olympic class Onanism, that is.

By: coolandcalm

coolandcalm — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:30:28 +0000

I think the home-made sex toy is the pasta jar……….. in these dodgy economical times I guess one had to be imaginative…..

By: magnetite

magnetite — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:17:06 +0000

Well, Chenier. When I made my egg rack I had to write ‘egg rack’ on it so that puzzled guests wouldn’t have to work out what it was. Most thought it was a tiny Henry Moore sculpture that I’d stolen. Perhaps Weatherly was similarly ham-handed in his attempt at home-built pleasure enhancing equipment, and had to label it just as had to with the egg rack of shame. Which I eventually burnt quietly at the top of the garden.

There is so much mileage in this story that my mockodometer may well turn back over to all zeroes.

By: Chenier

Chenier — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:06:26 +0000

Tell that it was a sex toy, Magnetite. The home-made bit is probably easier to detect, I think.
I sympathise on the brain as a colander; these are honourable wounds. I may be suffering from flag-wavers arm…

By: magnetite

magnetite — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:40:09 +0000

Tell what Chenier? That he seemed to be fiddling with some sort of weapon? You’d think they’d be more relaxed about it…after all if you’ve worked the slide that much, you’ve probably ejected all your ammunition.

That looks far more foul in writing than it did in my mind.

Oh well. I’ll have to take up trepanning again to get those pictures out of my head. My skull will resemble a colander before long if Anorak keeps this up, I tell you…

By: Chenier

Chenier — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:16:19 +0000

And how could they tell?

By: magnetite

magnetite — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:57:01 +0000

What in the name of The Great Hairy Jesus of Bethlehem is a ‘home-made sex toy’? What was it made from? Stickle Bricks? A Domestos bottle, two bulldog clips and a folding card table?

I made an egg rack at home once. I wouldn’t put eggs in it, let alone my genitalia.

I think I’ve worked out what the stockings and the Jack Russell were for though…

If you tie one end of th stcking around your throat and the other to the dog’s collar, then throw a stick for it, then you’re not indulging in creepy, weird auto-erotic asphyxiation. No, you’re indulging in creepy, weird treat-based canine-assisted erotic asphyxiation…and that’s a totally different thing. Totally.

Wait, I’ve put waaaay to much thought into this, haven’t I/

I’m off to bleach my forebrain.

By: June

June — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:24:45 +0000

still it wasn’t in a tin of dogfood.

maybe he thought it was a new type of ‘dogging’?

By: coolandcalm

coolandcalm — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:23:29 +0000

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.
…………………………………….

one can picture it so clearly! Bless him.

By: yampster

yampster — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:08:45 +0000

The Jack Russell had his license endorsed