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Anorak | How Simon Cowell killed Christmas

How Simon Cowell killed Christmas

by | 16th, December 2008

There are many reasons to hate The X Factor, many of which are well-known. Like Louis Walsh, the theme weeks, the made-up arguments between the judges to court press attention, the collusion of the press in the made-up arguments between the judges to court press attention, Louis Walsh, everyone banging on about it being “their dream”, the schmaltzy song selections, the baffling popularity of hobbits (see Ray Quinn, Eoghan Quigg), Louis Walsh, the absurdly portentous contestant intros…

*deep breath*

Like the way every single comment that comes out of Simon Cowell’s mouth is seemingly meant to make viewers vote (and thus pour money into his bank account), providing paid employment for Dannii Minogue, the insistence on cutting all songs down while also inserting a Westlife-style chord change moment, the relentless fucking crying, the way they cruelly dumped Poor Kate Thornton…

(Actually, that’s a plus point. But it’s the only one)

You get the picture. Oh, and did I mention Louis Walsh? But there are two reasons to especially loathe this series of The X Factor, and they’re both festive. Well, sort of.

The first is the choice of single for this year’s winner. They’re doing Hallelujah essentially a cover of the Jeff Buckley version.

Now, I’m no indie zealot, but I sometimes wish the music industry could nick an idea from the NFL the American Football people. Teams there retire certain squad numbers when a legendary player retires they retire the jersey.

Songs should get the same treatment they should be retired when someone’s recorded the definitive version, if only so Simon Cowell can’t slap a string section, gospel choir and chord change onto them ever. Hallelujah would be a stone-cold candidate for being retired after Buckley’s version with some kind of bye for

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Posted: 16th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink