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Hamas Wins: Israel Dismantles And World Is In Total Harmony

by | 18th, January 2009

In Melbourne, the anti-war – or are they just on the other side? – protestors march for peace in Israel and Gaza.

In Israel, Jews respond by saying that they have heard the will of the entire world and enough, already.

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert says he realises that the world’s ills can all be laid at the feet of Israelis.

He’s been on TakeMeBack.com and having traced his ancestors to the site of a village in the Ukraine, he and his will be heading back there next Tuesday.

In Austria, local peaceniks celebrated the news of the Jews return by holding a candlelit vigil.

Says one campaigner:

“Now finally the world can be at peace. With no Israel we can all sleep easy in our beds knowing that harmony is all and peace has been achieved.”

A spokesman for the BBC issued this statement.

“The BBC welcomes the decision by the Israeli state to dismantle itself and for its peoples to return from whence they came. The BBC is now free to lead with happy news stories of swearing parrots, Her Majesty’s new winter wardrobe and the Boat Race, both preparations and aftermath.”

More thoughts from around the world:

The end days are upon us. We have but seven days to round up all the Jews, put them in a field and bomb the hell out of planet Earth. And with no President Bush, it’s gonna be harder then ever. But if we can all unite in prayer we can.” – Evangelical Congregation of Armageddon, Wyoming.

“Hopefully now the Palestinians can create the liberal dream Yasser Arafat craved. Palestinians can look forward to shared parental leave, reducing carbon emissions, legalisation of cannabis, fostering respect for all creeds and creating a Sustainable Market in Aviation”Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats

“Thank f**! Now we can admit that Osama bin Laden was never real and was invented by Jews as a front for an attack on Iraq, Afghanistan and – well, then it would have been Iran, Pakistan, Dubai and, had Man City defeated Spurs, Abu Dhabi”Ayman “Hymie” al-Zawahiri

“Ich bin ein Jew” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

“It was me. Well, and Him upstairs. But mostly it was me” Tony Blair

Israel will be cleared in a week. Jews will all leave just as soon as Poland is made ready…

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Posted: 18th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink