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Anorak | Melting Al Gore And Carbon Breathalyzers For Humans

Melting Al Gore And Carbon Breathalyzers For Humans

by | 22nd, January 2009

GLOBAL warming update time. A blow on the foreigners and news that the Met Office has spent £33m on a new supercomputer to calculate how climate change will affect Britain – only to find the new machine has a giant carbon footprint of its own.

The new supercomputer, which will become operational later this year, will emit 14,400 tonnes of CO2 a year,” says Dave Britton, the Met Office’s chief press officer. This is equivalent to the CO2 emitted by 2,400 homes – generating an average of six tonnes each a year.

What we need is computer like this in every household to tell us what we’re doing wrong.

Anorak advocates the use of Grayzer ™, the Green Breathalyzer that tells you how much CO2 you are emitting by being alive.

Joggers, you will be encouraged to learn, emit twice as much C02 as fat wasters, although the figure reverses if the idle wasters eat too many beans.

Over in Alaska

Fairbanks businessman Craig Compeau put a “shivering” Al Gore on a 5 ton block of ice. Compeau, who manages an outdoor recreation sporting goods store, is coupling the unveiling with a fundraiser to benefit the Presbyterian Hospitality House, a local nonprofit. Anyone — skeptic or not — can play by guessing whether this winter will be warmer or colder, and by how much, than was the winter of 1947-1948. Gore was born on March 31, 1948.

Anorak readers can guess how many tumblers of polar-bear drowning water Gore will fill when he melts, and if it is more or less than the water used in his air conditioning sytem…



Posted: 22nd, January 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink