Husbands! Does your wife needlessly leave the family home without the protective chaperoning of yourself, your father, or that uncle of yours who has been a little funny since his time in the colonies? Are you tired of having to rescue her from yet another opium den? Do you weary of having to crush her nascent independent thought when she finally returns to the family?
Worry no more! For a mere half crown you can record an entreaty to your wayward wife, playable by herself on our ‘portable husband’. Our top selling messages are
“Return home immediately and count the silver. I do not trust that new maid.”
“I have told you time and again that migrant labourers can see through clothing. Upon your return I shall beat you with a horse brass, you harlot.”
and our perennial favourite
“Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to vote.”
January 24th, 2009 at 5:31 am
Husbands! Does your wife needlessly leave the family home without the protective chaperoning of yourself, your father, or that uncle of yours who has been a little funny since his time in the colonies? Are you tired of having to rescue her from yet another opium den? Do you weary of having to crush her nascent independent thought when she finally returns to the family?
Worry no more! For a mere half crown you can record an entreaty to your wayward wife, playable by herself on our ‘portable husband’. Our top selling messages are
“Return home immediately and count the silver. I do not trust that new maid.”
“I have told you time and again that migrant labourers can see through clothing. Upon your return I shall beat you with a horse brass, you harlot.”
and our perennial favourite
“Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to vote.”