Jade Ewen Cry: My Time In Eurovison Is Limited

HOORAH for Jade Ewen, singer of My Time at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow, Russia.

Ewen is backed by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber (he writes the songs that’s tick in the head like a crossbow bolt) and a reality show (the BBC makes the brand).

William Hill is offering odds of 5/1 that My Time will come last and 16/1 that it will get ‘nul points’ and continue the fine tradition on British Eurovision agonists.

Ewen saw off the challenge of Mark Evans and twins Francine and Nicola Gledall. All three will now be rejoicing in the news that ahead lies a short but glorious career as a pop star in clubs, pubs and maybe - who knows? – a presenting job on a late-night Bingo channel.

Says the Mail:

Jade, whose father Trevor is blind, and whose mother Carol is partially blind and deaf, said afterwards she felt ‘numb’.

Why these facts about Jade’s mum and ad are noted should be obvious to anyone who has watched the machinations of singing shows. The sympathetic back story is all. Look out for stories on how Jade was bullied at school.

If Johann Sebastian Bach were tying out now for fame, he’d tell us that Air On A Heart String draws on his life experiences, chiefly when his packet of Monster Munch was stolen by the big boys and the only clean underwear he had for school was his sister Danniii’s thong.

Says Lord Lloyd Webber:

“The Eurovision show started Abba, and it’s going to start the career of this incredibly talented young woman.”

Ewen is talented as Andy Abraham, Scooch, Jemini (“nul point”), Daz Sampson, Javine and James Fox. All soon to be appearing just by the main concourse at Waterloo station….

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, February 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink