Binyam Mohamed Appeal: Let Him Stay, We Need A New Tabloid Terrorist
BINYAM Mohammed is being “TREATED LIKE ROYALTY”.
He is the “terror suspect” being “flown back to Britain by private jet”. And “he’ll get thousands a year in benefits”.
The Express is delighted that Ethiopian Binyam Mohamed is now returned to the country he once lived in. With Omar Bakri taking the winter sun in Lebanon, and Abu Hamza twiddling his hooks in jail, the British media needs a Muslim it can hold up as our nutter-in-residence.
But will he be allowed to stay?
In time, it is hoped that Mohamed will take the Express’ call and say something like, “Coronation Street is a Zionist conspiracy” and “Deep-crust pizza is an affront to Islam”.
But for now the Express is content with looking at the plane that brought Binyam home. It’s a “twin-engined Gulfstream” with enough room on board from two Foreign Office wonks, two Met police officers and a doctor.
Rumours speak of a pilot, co-pilot and steward. But as yet those facts have been unconfirmed. The Express an only reveal that such jets “boasts gourmet meals and ‘premium beverages’”.
“Our spacious six-foot-three cabin makes you feel like you are relaxing in our own private hotel suits,” says the blurb.
Says Richard Littlejohn in the Mail:
Today he touched down in a private Gulfstream jet, accompanied by the kind of entourage you normally associate with Madonna.
He’s been waxed, spray tanned and his beard softened in vat of liquefied Labrador pereniums. The Mail says that Binyam looked “extremely gaunt”.
It’s home from home for Binyam Madonna, used as he to the expansive cosiness of a Guantanamo Bay cell.
Now Binyam has tasted the high life, and should he, as the Express says, qualify for £21,600-a-year in benefits, he will soon be snapping up his own minders and jet.
The paper says Binyam “may also try to sue the British Government for hundreds of thousands of pounds in damages”, or holiday money, as his brief might term it.
Littlejohn again:
Soon he’ll be on the chat show circuit, followed by a lucrative book deal and, inevitably, a multi million-pound claim for com-pensay-shun under the yuman rites act.
The Express lists his weekly allowances as totalling £450. The Mail tots it up to £324.
Pretty clear, then, that Binyam should consult the Express in fiscal matters.
The big question, though, is if Binyam qualifies as a UK citizen. Fingers crossed he does. Although only ever a terror “suspect”, Binyam Mohamed is the closet we’ve got just now to a front-line Islamic nutter.
Meanwhile, the hunt goes on.
Appeal: If you see a bearded loon shouting at pigeons in the precinct, call the tabloids.
Posted: 24th, February 2009 | In: Media Comments (17) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- yampster on X Factor: Jedward, John & Edward Grimes, Are Voted Out At Last
- Magalie on X Factor: Jedward, John & Edward Grimes, Are Voted Out At Last
- Natalie on X Factor: Jedward, John & Edward Grimes, Are Voted Out At Last
- Anisa on X Factor: Jedward, John & Edward Grimes, Are Voted Out At Last
- JEAN PAGE on I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price To Marry ‘Dumped’ Alex Reid In Jungle
February 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Do I get a royalty?
February 25th, 2009 at 10:30 am
You got a mention in the lead article….
but that £21k odd in benefits is a bit off , won’t the poor bankers or politicians need it?
February 25th, 2009 at 10:16 am
this threads a load of bollocks
February 25th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Weapons of mashed destruction
February 25th, 2009 at 9:18 am
War balls
February 25th, 2009 at 8:43 am
….suicide bomber sperm?…perhaps
February 24th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Jihadi Jism maybe?
February 24th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
…and what, in heavens name, might the X-rays of his X-rateds show us?
It does’nt bear thinking about…..
February 24th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
…and thats not even with the security checks….I wonder if a pair of Mohameds knackered knackers would ring any bells on the metal detector?…
February 24th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
…as for poor Mohameds unmentionables….I hope he carried them onto the plane as hand luggage….I would hate to think of them having to go through baggage handling, then getting crushed, then getting sent have way round the world… only to end up as lost luggage….that would be torture.
February 24th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Chenier…my friend has a daughter out there and judging by some of her strops, I have no doubt that she and her soldier sisters, left to their own devices, could kick ass and have us out of afghanistan in time for Friday night ..
Fighting Femme Fatales are Fearsome!
February 24th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Shareen Nanjani!
February 24th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
…leaving our girls out there to deal with the pointed foreign escapades; works for me…
February 24th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Binman claims he was tortured. Oh dear, how sad, never mind. Who gives a pig’s nipple? Our first priority must be to bring our boys back from these pointless foreign escapades and then put the shutters up.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Oh, I doubt it, PeterMac. The interrogators have already had a go at the unmentionables, so there may not be much left to be chopped off…
February 24th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
He is a Muslem convert, so he can’t drink Champagne, or his **** will be chopped off according to the law of the All Merciful …… (sorry can’t remember the rest)
February 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Did the M15 personally escort him back on the private jet and give him cavier and champagne to convince him what great guys they really are? Pardon the American expression, rather sounds like the orders have been issued to ‘kiss his arse’! Surely the powers that be aren’t trying to ‘tamper with the evidence’ in hopes he won’t sing like a canary