Jade Goody’s OK! Wedding: Sir Elton’s John’s Florist, The Vows And The Ferrero Rocher Mountain

JADE Goody’s marriage to Jack Tweed is occupying minds at OK! magazine.

The front page advertises Jade’s “happiest day of my life”. And there she is offering a half smile, sat beside a pained looking Jack. Dandled on their knees are Jade’s sons, one looking into the middle distance, the other looking as if the photographer has taken a hammer to his Playstation.

There is more to come. There are 32-pages, albeit including adverts for Cancer Research, WeightWatchers, Tesco, Kitchens, Holidays, The Co-op and mobile phones – staging posts of Jade’s life.

And we learn:

“Even as a little girl, Jade Goody always dreamed of a white wedding.”

Isn’t a white wedding what little girls dream of, before they grow up and dream of a New Age ceremony in piercings on a beach in Thailand, an eponymous scent and a new name for their miracle baby?

Time is pressing. To Down Hall Country House, Hertfordshire, we journey, for the fulfilment of a dream.

The wedding will be hard on Jade, “as arduous as it had been to run the marathon”.

Experienced Jade watchers will recall how she managed 21 miles of the full 26 and a bit miles on London tarmac, an effort David Bedford, director of the London Marathon, called “suicidal”.

Jade ended up pictured in the Sun draped in a foil sheet like some kind of hot takeaway kebab, receiving treatment from a member of the St John’s Ambulance. Back then she prepared with curries and slimming pills dipped in children’s party absinthe.

Jade never finished that race, and she might not live to achieve her other dreams:

“She thought about going to a This World country to build mud huts for the needy.” She dreamt of a “quieter life away from the spotlight”.

Dreams dashed when “fate cruelly stepped in and ripped them apart when Jack was imprisoned for assault”. Fate came in the shape of a golf club swung in anger. Fate comes in many guises.

Now reunited, Jade is looking at the flowers arranged by “Sir Elton’s John’s florist.” The 12 4ft tall “marbelised plinths” lining each side of the room, “each holding an urn with an umbrella effect arrangement of cream stocks.”

There is a huge vase with a three-inch wicked candle within.

The harpist plays. It’s Pashaball’s Canon in D major. Then Ricky-Korsakov’s Scherazade.

Says the bishop:

“I love you for ever and ever without reserve. When I see you, then I feel well again…”

Jack:

“No one has touched my life like you. No one can compare to you. No one else has made my heart leap and my soul dance. Nor set my mind with joy in your presence. I have found my rest, my home and myself in your arms. I have known such peace. Today I give myself to you. I am yours and ever shall be.”

Jade:

“You are so handsome to me. You are my life, my light, my hopes and my joy. I will treasure you. I will cherish you. I will be utterly devoted to you. Through the laughter and the tears, through the darkness and the light, I will be your eternal love, your constant companion, your closest friend, pledging to you my deepest commitment.”

Vivaldi’s Allegro in GTi starts up.

The canapes:

King prawns in filo pastry and smoked salmon and horseradish and chicken kebabs.

The mains:

Smoked duck with grain mustard potato salad.
Scotch beef and wild mushroom and onion compote with foie gras.
Hazelnut meringue filled with chocolate ice cream topped with coconut cream.

Cue Nessun Doormat, and That’s Amore.

So what about the dream wedding, Jade?

“In all honesty, this isn’t the wedding I really wanted… We wanted to have it in the Savoy in London, with a Ferrero Rocher mountain.”

With a flag to Jade on the top…

Anorak

Posted: 25th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink