Lily Allen Watch: Hugh Hefner Staples Cheryl Cole, Kate Winslet’s Boat And Playboy

LILY Allen Watch: Hugh Hefner staples Cheryl Cole and Kate Winslet floats his boat.

HUGH Hefner would like to put a staple through Cheryl Cole. Staple can be dangerous, and Hef should seek out a Mountie.

Says the octogenarian man of porn:

“I definitely prefer Cheryl – she’s the more attractive of the two.”

The two? Is Hef having rouble with his vision after years of dating look-alike moulded models, and the recent conquest, the Shannon Twins, or The Icky Quartet as Hef calls them?

It’s turns out the other one is Lily Allen, and that given the option of she or Cheryl, his eyesight is not all that bad.

“It’s a more competitive market than it used to be and certainly [sex nun] Kate Winslet would be most welcome in our pages.”

The Internet is doing for Playboy what Playboy did for Health & Efficiency and Old Mr Anorak’s boyhood organ, Friends Of Florence, the only magazine to feature silhouettes of nursing staff.

The perverted truth is that if Anorak published a frosted shot of Kate Winslet with legs wrapped around a boat with the caption “Going Down” it would become a hit and gets lots of eyeballs.

But on the web, a shot of Lily Allen in the same pose would be a hit every bit as big.

The subject no longer matters as much as the fame.

Porn is everywhere…

Anorak

Posted: 4th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink