
Jade Goody’s Funeral Route And Facts
JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career. Jade is still dead but with her funeral to run and books to sell, she remains busy…
Daily Star: “JADE’S FUNERAL IS A FAKE”
She’s not dead? Was Jade the greatest method actor of her generation?
Jade Goody’s final resting place is being kept secret to keep ghoulish fans away. Her grieving family are trying to fool freaks and sickos by dropping false hints about possible burial plots. A source revealed last night: “Jade’s loved ones are desperate for her to be buried with dignity and to rest fully in peace. They want to be able to bury Jade in private and to keep the location a secret. Sadly, they know there are ghouls and freaks out there who might turn up at the grave site looking for souvenirs.”
Sickos! Buy the official souvenirs like the rest of us.
Instead, Jade will be buried in an unmarked grave at a secret location.
The Daily Star knows the details but has agreed not to reveal where it is.
In next week’s OK!, we look around Jade’s final resting place, with trees by Man At Trees, Basildon, weeping willows, by the St Winifred’s School Choir, Las Vegas, and through the double doors to the indoor swimming pool, bedecked with cashmere throws and a rug hand crafted from the perineums of baby…
We hear of those celebrity freinds:
Meanwhile, flowers from David Beckham and his family were on display in the funeral parlour in Bermondsey yesterday. A simple message said: “Our thoughts are with your family and friends at this sad time.”
Daily Mirror: “JADE’S LAST JOURNEY”
To go with Jade’s other notable lasts, notably: Jade’s last tattoo, Jade’s last coffin, Jade’s Last, last words, Jade’s last interview, Jade’s last wedding, Jade’s last dress, Jade’s last fight, Jade’s last slice of toast, Jade’s last Christening, Jade’s last party, Jade’s Last Rites; Jade’s last view, Jade’s last breath, Jade’s last Mother’s Day; Jade’s last wish, Jade’s last cat, Jade’s last reality TV show and Jade’s last chapter..
Here we reveal everything you need know about the last journey of the Princess of Essex...
JADE
She will be buried in her £3,500 Manuel Mota ivory wedding dress - a gift for Jade’s most special day from Harrods boss Mohamed al Fayed.
She was murdered, I tell yer…
Mum Jackiey Budden lovingly dressed her in the gown and has prepared Jade for her funeral… Her oak coffin is made with wood from the Royal Windsor Forest.
THE ROUTE
Jade’s body has been kept at family funeral firm FA Albins in Rotherhithe, up the road from Jade’s native Bermondsey.
Tomorrow, it will be taken from the chapel of rest at around 8.30am in the firm’s vintage Rolls Royce hearse - a nod to Jade’s love of vintage cars.
It will be followed by a Bentley carrying her immediate family, plus four Daimlers and several hearses carrying the huge number of floral tributes left for her. It is thought the cortege could total 20 cars.
It’s Jade’s “green burial“.
Then up the Mall, where the crowd throng the streets, beseaching Her Majesty The Queen to bow to public pressure and say one last goodbye to her great rival…
The procession will make its way along Southwark Park Road, known locally as the Blue… It will then pass Jade’s old house on the Dickens Estate - where Jackiey still lives - and then cross Tower Bridge. The procession will not go through Rotherhithe Bridge as the firm has a tradition to “not take the deceased underground until the funeral”.
From Tower Bridge, the procession will make its way to Buckhurst Hill in Essex, where the funeral will take place. Jade’s family is expected to follow the cortege on foot along Loughton High Street, near to where Jade lived with her sons and Jack.
Like a candal in da wind…
FLOWERS
A huge GOODY floral will be emblazoned on the top of her hearse along with others surrounding her coffin noting the special relationships Jade had. These will include wife, daughter, grandaughter and, of course, Mummy.
Alongside those will be wreaths for elements of Jade’s life including a camera, a perfume bottle, a newspaper and a jar of Marmite - the spread Jade compared her popularity to, saying “People either love me or hate me”…
It’s all Marmite.
PRAYER FOR JADE
A prayer written by Bishop Jonathan Blake, who presided over Jade and Jack’s wedding, will be printed on cards featuring a photo of the star. It will be handed out to mourners so they can unite in grief with a joint tribute.
Ahem:
Dear God of Love Thank you for Jade Bless her in Paradise Our “brightest star”.
Be with Jackiey, Jack, Bobby and Freddy And all her family and friends in their grief.
Comfort all those who mourn And may the example of Jade’s courage in adversity, Humour in the face of suffering and sheer love of life Turn our sorrow into joy and our tears into laughter.
Amen.
THE FUNERAL
Fans unable to pack into the church will be able watch the funeral on three large TV screens outside. Candles bearing Jade’s picture and inscribed “Jade - an ordinary woman, an extraordinary wife” will be available.
Copies will be made later and sold at £20 and £4.99 with some of the profit going to Cancer Research. A book of remembrance, which will be handed to the family, has been at the church since March 26. Other books of condolence have been placed around the country.
The service will be led by the Rev Corinne Brixton.
Dressed in a peach gown by Gowns Of Ongar, shoes by All Souls of Hertford and a hat made from by the children at Slumdog Infants, Mumbai…
The coffin will be carried into church by husband Jack Tweed; Kevin Adams, who kept a bedside vigil as the star lay dying; her best mate nightclub owner Mark Fuller; Jack’s dad Andrew and Danny Haywood and Simon Bridger, who are trustees of the fund for Jade’s sons.
Grandad John Caddock, 70, says he would have liked to have been among them but is “too short”. Jack will read a poem ‘If Only’ which he wrote in the days following Jade’s death. Mum Jackiey will also do a reading as will best friend and TV producer Kate Jackson.
Read Jack’s Poem here - exclusive!
Here comes Travolta…
…the Sugababes, Kerry Katona, Richard and Judy and Jamelia are tipped to be there.
THE WAKE
Jade requested a booze-free wake, insisting that people be drinking tea, eating cake and in tears instead.
She said: “Some people say they don’t want people crying, but I want people to cry over me! And I don’t want anyone to have a boozeup when I’m dead! They should have a cup of tea and be crying!”
Anyone good there?
A source said: “It will a sombre affair. We hope as many of the 400 mourners as possible can attend, on a VIP guestlist.”
Some mourners are better than others. Touching…
THE MUSIC
The songs, touching in their own right, each meant something special to Jade and are likely to leave everyone in tears.
Believed to be on the list are Aerosmith’s ballad I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing - which was Jade and Jack’s wedding song - and the opening hymn All Things Bright and Beautiful.
Jade’s favourite song - Last Request by Paolo Nutini - will be played at the end of the funeral.
HER FINAL RESTING PLACE
Jade will be buried in a private service at the Epping Forest burial park in North Weald, Essex.
See Daily Star above.
The Sun: “Tweed has to quit Jade’s wake early”
JACK Tweed must leave wife Jade Goody’s wake early to avoid breaking his curfew tomorrow. After attending her funeral, widower Jack, 21, must be at his mum Mary’s home by 7pm under his probation terms.
Close friends and family will carry on having a buffet and drinks at Blakes Golf Club in Ongar, Essex…
Jack:
Yesterday Jack ate lunch at a pub with pals — and read about Jade in The Sun.
The Independent: “Tom Sutcliffe: A statue to Jade isn’t a bad idea”
The second issue is what such a statue would be in a 100 years, rather than tomorrow. What part it might play, in other words, in that odd, mostly ignored population of bronze and stone people which with we share the streets? By then, I take it, nobody will have a clue who Jade is and this object will have become one of the city’s curiosities. But what an intriguing and curious one it will be. Instead of yet another politician or general, instead of yet another man, there will be this girl – not exceptionally beautiful, and, as the inscription or guide-book may make clear, not exceptionally anything else either. But acknowledgement, all the same, that there is life outside of signal achievement (which is, let’s face it, where most of us have to spend our lives). It might be a statue of Jade Goody for the next 10 years, and possibly the 10 after that, but eventually it would be a statue of the Unknown Civilian.
Waltham Abbey Guardian: “WALTHAM ABBEY: Jade’s neighbour speaks out”
JADE Goody’s next door neighbour has broken his silence on what it was like living next to the star during the media frenzy which surrounded the final months of her life.
Oh,m him - Jade’s Last Row!
John Lipsett, of Bramble Cottage in Pick Hill, Upshire, said he was “very fond” of Jade and her family, but her well-documented battle with cancer had led things in the neighbourhood to “escalate out-of-hand”…
Mr Lipsett told the Guardian: “There was no problem whatsoever until she got sick. She just got on with her life, and we would see her on the back lane here, walking her dog. She just muddled in with everyone else and she was part of the community. But once she got sick there were more and more TV crews and cameras and everything started to escalate out-of-hand. It was an unfortunate situation and something we had no control over. We had Sky, the BBC, ITN, Anglia, asking to speak to me because I live right next door. And they wanted me to go live on TV on my doorstep, but I told them I wanted to stay out of it, so they drew their lines and stayed clear.”
Adding:
He added: “It’s been unbelievable. There have been mountains of people coming here.
He said: “She was good for the Abbey.”
We go back to the Abbey, where Viscount Spencer is preparing to read a lesson…
Posted: 3rd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (20) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments





April 6th, 2009 at 12:13 am
’she got of her arse and did something’
Not for long, I recall a certain charadee event, lots trained for it, most people ran, not many stuffed a curry down their gullet the night before.
April 5th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Dear Angela,
I hold down a very responsible job thank you and I have a life. And I spent all day persuading someone not to kill himself. What did you do today?
April 5th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
God how sad you all are, all yo do is watch the news and read the papers then come on here and make sad comments, seriously GET A LIFE!!! At least Jade will leave a memory and a legacy at least she got of her arse and did something, all you lot will leave is bitterness, oh bless call ya doctors now and seek help for your depression!!!! GET A JOB!!!!!! and stop writing silly sad things on this obviously f@*ked up sad MINGING page. BYE!!!!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
April 5th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
‘the young woman did nothing that deserved her to suffer the way she did’
Jade chose to do nothing when there was plenty that could be done, that is true.
But then the contract encapsulating her life might already have been in the bag, the highest bidder fully aware that nothing brings in more wonga from the gullible public than rehashing a simple example of crass stupidity and stringing it out over a period of months.
What the patient seemingly desired is exactly what her ‘doctor’ prescribed, Yin and Yang equilibrium at its best, a bit like poppadoms and mango chutney.
April 5th, 2009 at 12:08 am
What’s frightening about al qaeda a naked anne widdecombe and warm globes? Sounds like a winner to me
April 4th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
how ignorant and twisted is todays society really! hard hearted is an understatement!!! the young woman did nothing that deserved her to suffer the way she did!! my heart bleeds for her two boys and her family. at the end of the day, we all have a past!! your a cruel, cruel society!!!!
April 4th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
The white coffin could one day be as famous as the red canoe…..
Jade Goody, still alive? That’s more frightening than Al Qadea, Global Warming and Anne Widdecombe naked all put together. AAAGGGHHH, I won’t sleep now.
April 4th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
‘the arrangements are a secret to stop anybody from mounting her and selling the story’.
Did Max bring the mountain to Mohammed, or did Al Fayed guess the dress size ?
April 4th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
watched the funeral load of shit
hope she suffered bad in her final hours
April 4th, 2009 at 9:03 am
This is a media set up created by a media mongrel to make a shed load of cash and I can not wait until she slips up, and mark my words she will. The thing with people who do this sort of thing is that sooner or later they begin to get relaxed in their new world and that’s all it takes.
look at the scenario
She had her 5 minutes of fame and longed for it again.
The woman was bankrupt beyond belief, had lost her business’s, money and was about to lose her house.
After the Shilpa incident her career was completely over with no chance of recovery.
Just before this all happened, a couple were caught faking their own deaths for the insurance payout (idea time)
A live broadcast of her so called cancer test just happening to be in the country that hated her the most.
Enter Mr Max Clifford - Money, Money, Money
She never looked anything like a cancer patient who has just gone through chemo
Her head is shaven but no signs of patching baldness which is very common with chemo patients
On the 20th of February - Doctors at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London announced that, they have never treated Miss Goody for cancer, nor have they ever carried out tests on her. Some medics went as far as to say that they “don’t even know who the hell Jade Goody is”.
Ok Magazine pronounces her dead several days before she is officially announced
She just happens to die on mothers day (well planned Max)
And now her funeral is a fake and is stated that because of all her millions of ’so called’ fans who will invade the cemetery to make a pilgrimage, its now going to be held in a secret location, without the details ever to be released.
What a load of rubbish and I am sure I have seen this in a movie somewhere - Maybe just maybe there might be some toxicology results in the future which will prove me right or as I wrote earlier she will simply begin to make mistakes and hopefully when she is caught she will spend a very very long time in jail.
Heres your clue - in the future, watch what her family do and where they go for holidays - this will be the key to solving this massive media fake !!
When you read this jade - rest assure you will be famous again but this time, like previously, for all the wrong reasons !!
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
i wouldnt be surprised if the arrangements are a secret to stop anybody from mounting her and selling the story, afterall the people that have made money from her allready have already proved they would stop at nothing, including death
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:33 am
Hello Percy
Are you managing to keep your food down today?
I’m sure tomorrow will be difficult for you.
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:20 am
I’ve heard Jack and mutter-in-law are going to the function dressed as Mexicans coz Max told them it was to be a sombre/ro occasion.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:58 am
I wonder if the bird from s club and that other slappers going ?
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:10 am
Jade Goody’s final resting place is being kept secret to keep ghoulish fans away. Her grieving family are trying to fool freaks and sickos by dropping false hints about possible burial plots
In other words they don’t want Michael Jackson there then?
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:07 am
Will it all really be over tomorrow ? Can we then get back to some sort of normality ?
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
“Mum Jackiey Budden lovingly dressed her in the gown and has prepared Jade for her funeral…”
She must have some help with the buttons, surely?
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 am
…and Turd too….nearly forgot….Good Morning ,June
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:44 am
Sickund! …..
Good morning Bat E
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:30 am
Frist
Are they setting off early so they’re finished in time for the Grand National?