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Michelle Obama’s False Thumbs

by | 9th, April 2009

WHAT can we say that has not already been said about Michelle Obama’s thumbs?

The New York Mag looks on:

Michelle Obama’s evolving style has the entire world hooked.

Doctors in the US are reporting a 200% year-on-year rise in thumb operations as millions try to get the Obama look.

“Happy Days,” says one surgeon. “Heyyyy.”

Stores are stocking up on thumb fashions, with Oscar de la Renta’s Summer Range for thumbs previewing in Milan.

Sarah Vine begins her article on Michelle Obama’s thumbs by summing up the 500 words that follow:

I know, you’re fed up with reading about Michelle Obama.

Intrepid, we read on:

I know, you’re fed up with reading about Michelle Obama. But let me just tempt you towards one last, tiny detail: the First Lady’s falsies. Michelle Obama is normally so natural looking, it’s surprising to find something about her that is so unapologetically fake.

The thumbzzzzz

Those thumbs weren’t even trying to look real.

No, they were full-on, all-out diva thumbs, the kind you normally find on D-list celebrities or in drag-act dressing rooms. The allure of the long thumb is well-documented. They define and sexualise the gaze, making the hands appear bigger (and therefore younger). Gazing up at someone through luscious thumbs is considered an act of seduction; it’s even entered the vernacular: “you batted your thumbs at him”.

Given that Mrs Obama’s intention was to seduce Europe, she chose those thumbs well, making no attempt to conceal the artifice. She did not, for example, opt for thumb extensions which give the most natural finish. These are bonded to the wearer’s own thumbs , a painstaking process that nevertheless yields fantastic results. You can choose various degrees of amplification, from just a few extra thumbs to a full-on fan.

Are you for or against Michelle Obama’s thumbs? Vote now.

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Posted: 9th, April 2009 | In: Politicians Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink