Brad Pitt Moves Out On Angelina Jolie
BRAD Pitt “moves out” of where ever it is he lives and the National Enquirer follows up that bombshell with news that he “wants all 6 kids”.
Ha! All six? Brad was never that good at the counting game, and Anorak learns that the world boasts around 3billion children, every one them better off with Angelina Jolie, David Banda and Octomum’s kids (plus ca change) included, although not Suri Cruise (Obey Her!).
The Enquirer tells of hopes/fear/prayers that Brad and Angelina have called it quits and are heading toward “an ugly legal battle”.
The catalyst for his latest foray into the Pitt-Jolie oeuvre is not just the NE’s desperation for a story to go with its weekly cover pic, but also news that Brad has been talking with actress Natalie Portman.
The pair are discussing a film about a “doomed love affair between an older photographer and a food columnist in her 20s”.
You picture the scene as Portman suck on a pencil, looking on as an extra spritzes a Big Mac with Ronseal wood gloss. Happy-snapper Pitt elongates his lens and barks “Shoot!”
Hey, everyone’s doing porn. It’s tasteful.
Oh, and Brad is talking about meeting with Jennifer Aniston, without whom no Pitt-Jolie is complete.
As for the kidzzzzz… Well, the Ne name checks them all in the manner of a class roll call and makes them assemble by the fire exit to await further instructions, and welcome any new kids that may wander in…
Posted: 9th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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August 18th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Can all of you just shatup and mind your own business.Leave Ange and Brad to sort themselves out.I mean whats happening to Ange and Brad is 100% normal,they are not the first to exprience this am sure.
May 20th, 2009 at 9:38 am
What comes around goes around. But they need to stop having kids and raise the ones they have it’s not like they don’t have enough money come on now be parents. And as for jen that woman stold brad from jen knowing full well what she was doing.
May 13th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
ANGELINA JOLIE DOESN’T CARE BRAD STAY OR GO. SHE SAID THAT IT IS FINE IF HE WANT TO LEAVE. BUT THE IMPORTANT THING SHE WANT IS ALL OF HER KIDS. REMEMBER THAT:. BRAD IS A PLAYBOY, CHEATER. HE NEVER LOYAL TO ANY WOMEN HE LIVE WITH. THAT WHY JOLIE DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY HIM..ONLY STUPPID JEN WAS. I HOPE JENIFER WILL SUFFER ONE MORE TIME.FOR HER DUMBASS.
May 13th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
SHUT UP, BITCHES. LEAVE ANGIE ALONE.
May 13th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Angie repeat after me ” I WILL NEVA DO WHAT I DID 2 BILLY BOB’S WIFE AND JEN COS KARMA IS A B$^^&%$”
May 13th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Jen I hope u don’t support Brad during this ugly legal battle he’s facing
Brad is never wrong even though he walked out and headed for lust and disaster and now wants Jen’s support wow.
as for Angie what goes around comes around u r a good actor seeing that u have followers who beleive u r a free spirited person meanwhile they refuse 2 see the real u..i.e.a possesive clingy lunatic..Get your self together 4 the kids and seek help there’s nothing wrong with that
April 11th, 2009 at 1:59 am
It seems Angie forgot the old adage…….if they do it with you, they do it to you…..
I can’t stand either one of them and hope they both dwell in caves from now on.
April 9th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
…trouble in paradise…?