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Anorak | Brad Pitt Moves Out On Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt Moves Out On Angelina Jolie

by | 9th, April 2009

BRAD Pitt “moves out” of where ever it is he lives and the National Enquirer follows up that bombshell with news that he “wants all 6 kids”.

Ha! All six? Brad was never that good at the counting game, and Anorak learns that the world boasts around 3billion children, every one them better off with Angelina Jolie, David Banda and Octomum’s kids (plus ca change) included, although not Suri Cruise (Obey Her!).

The Enquirer tells of hopes/fear/prayers that Brad and Angelina have called it quits and are heading toward “an ugly legal battle”.

The catalyst for his latest foray into the Pitt-Jolie oeuvre is not just the NE’s desperation for a story to go with its weekly cover pic, but also news that Brad has been talking with actress Natalie Portman.

The pair are discussing a film about a “doomed love affair between an older photographer and a food columnist in her 20s”.

You picture the scene as Portman suck on a pencil, looking on as an extra spritzes a Big Mac with Ronseal wood gloss. Happy-snapper Pitt elongates his lens and barks “Shoot!”

Hey, everyone’s doing porn. It’s tasteful.

Oh, and Brad is talking about meeting with Jennifer Aniston, without whom no Pitt-Jolie is complete.

As for the kidzzzzz… Well, the Ne name checks them all in the manner of a class roll call and makes them assemble by the fire exit to await further instructions, and welcome any new kids that may wander in…



Posted: 9th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink