Jack Tweed And Kerry Katona To Star In Jeremy Kyle Film

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Goody Egg Jack Tweed’s crack up…

WHAT news of Jack Tweedy, husband to the resting Jade Goody?

The Sun has front-page news: “JACK WILL CRACK.”

Is the plan to shine the media spotlight on Jack Tweed until he goes to bits? Seems cruel. But if it pays the bills and helps the boys… Reading on:

JACK Tweed was last night braced to be jailed today — as friends warned he is close to CRACKING UP.

Crack. Like a soft-boiled egg.

Lawyers have told Jade Goody’s grief-stricken hubby, 21, to “expect the worst” when he is sentenced for viciously assaulting a cabbie.

“Viciously.” Can you assault someone not “viciously”. Can you a assault someone “gently, or with “great sensitivity”?

A pal said after his appearance before a judge was brought forward: “Jack is walking around in a daze. He hasn’t slept properly for months and the doctor has given him sleeping tablets.”

Lights out!

Friends alarmed at the young widower’s increasingly bizarre behaviour fear for his mental state — and predict a fresh spell behind bars will tip him over the edge into having a breakdown.

So let’s look away. Let’s leave the lad alone. Does anyone want to see a man cracking up? And if they do, perhaps it best of Jack market it as an MTV show, a double-header with Kerry Katona’s fly-in-the-chip-fat show? Or what about Jeremy Kyle - the Movie?, featuring Max Clifford as Our Graham, ubiquitous relationship expert?

Jack, who yesterday made a pilgrimage to Jade’s final resting place as he does every day, was due to have been sentenced on Thursday for his boozy attack on a taxi driver at 50mph after a night out.

Whoso beset him round
With dismal stories
Do but themselves confound;
His strength the more is…
To be a pilgrim.

To a bivouac by Jade’s grave, where the Sun’s vigil goes son.

At his wife’s grave yesterday, Jack picked a flower from a wreath and mouthed a silent prayer before throwing it over his shoulder.

Take care, Jack. Hit someone with that missile – viciously - and it could make matters worse.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink