SUSAN Boyle Watch: In which the Huffington Post’s Sarah Walker tells of her “fears” for Susan Boyle.
Anorak has highlighted some terrific opinion on Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle, noteworthy:
* This woman is my sister.
* So, just as the unemployed Susan Boyle is storming the states with her unexpectedly inspirational rendition of “I dreamed a dream”, equity markets appear to be putting in a not dissimilar inspirational performance — leading many market commentators to profess the recession may in fact be over and done with.
* Susan Boyle: My definition of actualizing potential by allowing the energy of the universe to flow through you.
* Susan Boyle surpasses Barack Obama as the most popular human being on the planet
* I’m still stuck on Susan Boyle, and still weeping. I suppose that’s so 24 hours ago, and I should be thinking instead about how Mel Gibson’s divorce might affect his box-office cred with conservative Catholics.
* If Susan Boyle had not existed, the Noughties would have had to invent her to prevent the decade from crashing into its own looking glass
Sarah Walker worries:
As Susan Boyle’s stardom catapults to unknown and unimaginable heights, here is what I fear for the future:
Fear (our thoughts in brackets):
* The phrase, “He/She is no Susan Boyle” referring to the next unattractive person who competes on a reality show who doesn’t have her talent.
Sarah Walker is the Susan Boyle of writing.
* Alternately, the phrase, “Pulling a Boyle” if someone is unattractive and surprises people by succeeding at something.
Surely, “Lancing a Boyle”, Susan?
* People yelling at me for calling Susan Boyle unattractive.
Amongst other things…
* The Susan Boyle Movie (Working title: “I Dreamed a Dream”) with Susan Boyle played by Hollywood Actress Anne Hathaway in heavy makeup.
Boyle can player herself. Either in straight-to-tissue Lez Jizzerables, or as Armani Dolce, the name Boyle used since birth, until she happened upon the ingenious Boyle creation (created by fight wig, fat suit and rubber mask).
* The interviews with Anne Hathaway detailing her weight gain to play the role of Susan Boyle. (Anne Hathaway loves ice cream!)
Weight loss. See above.
* The woman’s magazine articles explaining Anne Hathaway’s Ways To Lose Weight (And Fast!). (No more ice cream!)
Remove fat suit.
* Anne Hathaway’s tearful Oscar speech when she wins Best Actress for her role as YouTube Singing Sensation Susan Boyle in “I Dreamed a Dream.” (She could have never done it without Susan Boyle).
Okay, enough with the doe-eyed, simpering Hathaway.
* Anne Hathaway calling Susan Boyle on stage with her during her acceptance speech. (I do look forward to Susan Boyle saying something charming and Scottish).
Something typically Scottish, like: “F*** you, you papist ****!”, “Freedom for Scotland” or “Got any spare change?”
* Anne Hathaway/Susan Boyle duet at the Oscar ceremony with Sting as surprise guest.
Like the Olympics all over.
• The Susan Boyle Halloween costumes.
See Armani Dolce for details…
Susan Boyle Offered $1Million For Her Virginity
Susan Boyle Lives With A Man
Demi Moore Drops Susan Boyle To Twitter Shaheen Jafargholi
Susan Boyle’s Puppy Love For Donny Osmond And Auditions For Emmerdale
Financial Markets Rally On The Susan Boyle Factor
Susan Boyle Secret Picture Gallery
Susan Boyle Watch: Susie Simple Stalked By Demi Moore And Meets Oprah Winfrey
Susan Boyle Sings On Larry King: Video
Susan Boyle Watch: Susan Meets Demi Moore And Kisses Drew Barrymore
Susan Boyle Records Cry Me A River: Video
Susan Boyle Sings Live On Anderson Cooper: Video
Susan Boyle Sings Live On American TV: Video
Video: Barack Obama On Susan Boyle
Pictures: Susan Boyle Naked
Demi Moore Twitters Susan Boyle
Video: Susan Boyle On Britain’s Got Talent
Susan Boyle Look-Alike Exposed
Susan Boyle Is Britain’s Got Talent
Susan Boyle Is Boiled Alive
Susan Boyle Sings In Her Garage
Susan Boyle To Sing At Olympics Opening Ceremony
Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- susan jones on Susan Boyle Weeps As The Press Set About Destroying Her
- The Real Stig on The Great Cathay Pacific Blocked Toilet Mystery
- SoDak-GhostDog on Interview With Survior Of James Arthur Ray’s Sedona Sweat Lodge
- Katie Norman on I’m A Celebrity: Joe Bugner’s Career In Pictures
- HOTWATER on Madeleine McCann: The Media Creates A New Maddie Monster And Twists The Facts
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:20 am
…ah, I see - hence the reason why those 3 girls who sang like drowned rats managed to get on there - evidently not because of any talent but because the tall one was lippy with an attitude problem….? Britain’s Got Whatever It Takes To Pull In The Viewing Figures, then….??
…and where do they get their rent-a-mob audience..?
April 21st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Her appearance in the show and in which show has been selected to provide us, the masses with entertainment. If you look here -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britain’s_Got_Talent
at the stats for series 3, the one we are watching now you will see that the judges see very few of the ‘thousands’ of acts who appear at the door. They are weeded out by some unseen process to produce the correct mix of Geek / Horror / Talent / Attitude to get an appearance on the weekly show. You stand as much chance of appearing in the show if they think you will tell Simon to fuck off as you do if you can sing in tune. It’s all in the mix at this stage.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:34 pm
SF Xian and Yampster, if I am following your thoughts correctly then that explains Simon’s reaction and remarks to the 12 year old boy when he first started singing horribly and Simon stopped him and knew which one he was suppose to be singing …
I just went back and reviewed the video of the young boy’s audition and look at the look on Simon’s face when he first started singing, then he stops him and look at Simon’s face when he restarts singing obviously the way he was expected to.
Her competition had been pre-selected?
April 20th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
The name is Cowell. These auditions are not shown in sequence. Each program is a mix of comic,obnoxious/hopeless and star. For instance, next week’s show features the first appearance of Kelly Brook as the 4th judge. We know she was fired after 6 days yet here she is in the 3rd week in
April 20th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
True, true, true, we all love the suddenly (famous) Susan and many are desperately seeking Susan for interviews, record contracts…. Ten days has gone by and the craze, heat, cheer are still going on and on around her. Hello there, give a minute: grab an icepack on your forehead, it’s time we cooled our head down a little and THINK now.
Who engineered the entire Susan Boyle Phenomenon?
YES, engineered, of course.
Susan’s dulcet voice is true, no doubt. We may believe that the responses of the judges may/might be true as long as no one pre-told them that “such” a contestant was let loose along the air-tight screening process. And the audience’s snickers, smirks, jeers, boos and the later contradictory cheers were absolutely 100% very, very, very true.
Yet, for sure there was at least one mastermind behind. Before stepping on the stage to be insulted or commended, all candidates have to go through interviews after interviews, trials after trials. By normal TV rule, unattractive people in general are dumped in the first or second round. How come she could get onto the stage to be in front of the three notoriously acidic-tongued judges?
Some smart brains in the production team had a well-woven plan to shock the TV audience deliberately from the very beginning of the series. It did. It succeeded. It helped the rating. People are impatiently waiting for the end of May to come. Internet viewers are now crazy. Musical stars and films stars joined the rally. It gives hope to the less beautiful. It educates people that we should not judge a book by its cover. It stirred up talks around the globe.
Susan can sing, definitely, and so many other hard-working musical actors. So, does her voice grasp our attention or the explosive, instant, dramatic, powerful effect created by the combination of her background, look, age, gender and voice, which are so against the general norm/expectation of a “talent”.
So very true, at difficult time, our dormant intelligence and guts wake up wide. I long to know, I desire to know that super clever mind who called the shot to manufacture this frenzy. Well, they deserve their caviar even at the time of economy meltdown. Shakespeare is from Britain, TV is for drama. Britain’s Got Talent not only on the stage but also behind the scene.