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Anorak | Fat People Create Man-Made Global Warming

Fat People Create Man-Made Global Warming

by | 21st, April 2009

fatbutt FAT people are to blame for global warming. It turns out that they DON’T block out the sun but magnify it through their bottles of fizzy drinks and sweat glands.

You can’t argue with the science. Says the Sun :

Scientists warned that the increase in big-eaters means more food production — a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet.

And the clincher:

Overweight people are also more likely to drive, adding to environmental damage.

Ever seen a fat person try to walk? When they do they start panting and up their CO2 emissions. Check the carbon breathalyzer . And best kill off Santa . Better they drive, perhaps? Let’s discover…

A Faculty of Anorak Collegiate Teaching (FACT) study concludes that the world would heat up by a rate of 0.2 of a degree month-on-month if fat people were made to walk.

But the damage CAN be undone if joggers are made to perform the fatties chores and shopping rituals.

Joggers are the enemy of Gaia and all right-thinking people.

Dr

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Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink