Anorak | Angelina Jolie To Play Susan Boyle In New Film

Angelina Jolie To Play Susan Boyle In New Film

by | 22nd, April 2009

angelina-jolie-boyleSUSAN Boyle Watch: Having been turned into a moral symbol, Susan Boyle is to become a film, reports the Daily Star:

HAIRY Angel Susan Boyle’s sensational rise to stardom is to be made into a multi-million pound movie. Show boss Simon Cowell is fighting off offers from Hollywood directors, vowing to produce the film himself.

As one Christian columnist puts it, in words that could be taken from an Oscar acceptance speech:

“The way we see Susan Boyle is very nearly the way God sees us: worthwhile, special, talented, unique, beautiful.”

Of course, the reason for this article is that it gives the Star a front-page story and a chance to wonder who will play Our Susan on the silver screen.

No mention of Chewbacca or Michelle Pfeiffer (the latter is the spitting image of the real Susan Boyle – Armani Dolce – who remains stubbornly slinked into the Boyle Frump suit, wig and mask). Just:

Kathy Bates, Julie T Wallace, Miriam Margolyes, Angelina Jolie and Scot Robbie Coltrane.

Anorak suggests using Sean Connery’s chest, Rod Stewarts’s hair (model 657b), Lulu, Kenny Dalglish, Keir Hardie, Flora McDonald’s sporran and Our Wullie.

The Star presses on:

Yesterday it was revealed she has already been offered a movie role by US film-maker Darla Rae.

Darla, who runs Film-It Productions in Colorado, said: “Susan’s real-life story is just what my movie Section B is about – chasing your dream no matter what. When Susan stepped on to the stage and began to sing, tears welled up in my eyes. As I watched her, I felt a connection and realised she would be perfect for one of my films.”

Film-It Productions… Is that a big Hollywood studio? A look at the website reveals Film-It’s worked at the coalface of care home advertorials and this:

Award winning Colorado filmmaker Darla Rae has reached out to offer “Britain’s Got Talent” contestant and overnight Internet sensation Susan Boyle, a part in the feature film SECTION B. SECTION B ( is now in pre-production with a cast and crew including music icon Cyndi Lauper, award winning actress Tippi Hedren, actress/model Marla Maples, Maples daughter Tiffany Trump (in her acting debut), ‘America’s Got Talent’ finalist Queen Emily David, Steven Parker (ER, Juno) and legendary cinematographer William ”Billy” Fraker (Tombstone, Rosemary’s Baby).

Well, yes. Anorak brought news of this scoop before. But where does La Boyle fit in? Hey, wasn’t Maples once married to Donald Trump, he of the Tsunami Hair. Maybe Boyle will fall in love with the hair and live happily ever…

SECTION B is a dramatic comedy about Baby Boomers who put their lives on hold to chase their dreams. In the film, a group of “over the hill’ wannabe actors give up everything to realize their dreams and attend a prestigious acting academy. Once there, they meet their biggest nemesis – youth…

And Boyle plays Youth?

Rae says “Susan Boyle’s real life story is exactly what the movie Section B is about – chasing your dream no matter what. And I understand her completely, because our stories are almost identical….

Boyle is plagiarising?

I promised my ill mother who passed away that I wouldn’t give up my dream of making films….


As I watched her, I felt a connection and realized she’d be perfect for one of the roles in Section B. We have an original song titled “Don’t Lose the Vision” that would be a perfect duet for Susan and her American counterpart, Queen Emily David from “America’s Got Talent”….

But the big question remains: can Angelina Jolie sing?

Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink