SWINE Flu is upon us and the papers and London-based broadcast media are embracing it like risen again Jade Goody. This is the big scare story the media can really sink its teeth into.
Already this morning GMTV has broadcast “LIVE” from outside Manchester Airport, where people might be soon flying in from pig-ravaged Mexico. Or pigs might be flying in. Reach for the skies!
Mexico is so dangerous that a GMTV reporter is LIVE and, possibly, mask-less from a Cancun beach, where holidaymakers are milling around on the look out for snotty pigs and cheap eats.
The papers react with circumspect objectivity:
“Flu: Britain Order 32million masks – 42% are at risk here” - Daily Express
“Pig Flu Out Of Control” – The Sun
“Swine flu could strike millions” – Metro
Those masks come too late for the Askhams – oh, how nominative determinalism shapes our lives.
While we wonder why the Government’s stock pile of bird flu masks (and they did order enough of those, right?) are no good in combating pig flu – something to do with the shape of the nose, perhaps – we consider Iain and Dawn Askham, Britain’s first swine flu victims.
How are they?
“Swine flu: Newlyweds could have infected hundreds” – Daily Mail
Pigs!
Susan Boyle “Beaten Down By Swine Flu”
Obama Came Into Contact With Suspected Pig Flu
Jonathan Ross Linked To Pig Flu
Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media, Scare Stories Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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April 30th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Lyn…I hate breathing the artificial air on a plane too, especially since they banned smoking onboard, but what I fear most whilst flying…is the pigshit they serve up as food.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Either that or a bloody terrorist lurking, we don’t fly anyway, the dogs hate it
April 30th, 2009 at 8:16 am
Not safe to fly in a plane is it. With the lousy air flow inside just imagine what people will catch if someone has the swine flu and is coughing away on board.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
I’m sure you are right Percy, and generations of antibiotic steroid laden animals to boot
April 29th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
The Bankers can’t be blamed for this. The probable cause of this type of flu virus is the factory farming methods used to produce cheap meat for the masses…. we are what we eat….. i.e. cheap meat.
April 29th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
June, the MATT one you posted is absolutely hysterically funny!
Do hope people who have potbelly pigs as pets have them well hidden before public hysteria sets in and they go on a pig hunt!
April 29th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
In times of bird flu there was a report on the Austrian TV showing lots of graves being cautionary digged. The digging had been - descreetly - ordered by the government.
April 29th, 2009 at 11:04 am
I vote we send the bankers to Mexico….. without masks…..
April 29th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Yampster,
you omitted bankers, or are they naturally immune, being greedy pigs already?
April 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Dairy, They only have 33 million shots of Tamiflu. You can either have the drugs or you can have the mask unless of course you an an MP, a member of an MP’s family, an MP’s mistress, child or by blow, a doctor, nurse, sluice cleaner, bin man, soldier, policeman, special constable, professional footballer, baker, sewage farm worker, Crematorium worker or other essential worker. Then you can have both
April 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am
copyright Matt
April 29th, 2009 at 10:28 am
I suppose when it gets to Newcastle they’ll change the song to the ‘Fog on the Swine is mine all mine’
April 29th, 2009 at 10:20 am
You’re safe as long as you don’t inhale or swallow
April 29th, 2009 at 10:18 am
..and why have they only ordered 32m masks, when the population is approx 60m…? are they expecting a cull….?
April 29th, 2009 at 9:49 am
So watsappenin’ in London, are we safe or what?
April 29th, 2009 at 9:34 am
you just know they’re going to make a pig’s ear of this….