The Top Ten Masturbation Songs

IN honour of this being National Masturbation Month – tips here -  we being you music to **** by – TheTop Ten Masturbation Songs (apologies to Cliff Richard fans):

Music For Self-Lovers, Volume One (Of One)

10. Tori Amos, “Icicle”

“And when my hand touches myself/I can finally rest my head/And when they take from his body/I think I’ll take from mine instead/Getting off, getting off while they’re all downstairs”

9. Billy Idol, “Dancing With Myself”

“When there’s no-one else in sight/In the crowded lonely night/Well I wait so long/For my love vibration/And I’m dancing with myself”

8. The Violent Femmes, “Blister In The Sun”

“Let me go on, like I blister in the sun/Let me go on, big hands I know your the one/Body and beats, I stain my sheets/I don’t even know why”

7. Devo, “Praying Hands”

“You got your left hand/You got your right hand/The left hand’s diddling/While the right hand goes to work”

6. The Divinyls, “I Touch Myself”

I don’t want anybody else/And when I think about you I touch myself/Ooh, ooh, ooh, aah”

5. Vapors, “Turning Japanese”

“This I’ve got your picture, I’ve got your picture/I’d like a million of you all round my cell/I want a doctor to take your picture/So I can look at you from inside as well/You’ve got me turning up and turning down/And turning in and turning ‘round/I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese”

4. Cyndi Lauper, “She Bop”

“Do I wanna go out with a lions roar/Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more/Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine/They say I better stop–or Ill go blind/Oop–she bop–she bop”

3. Britney Spears, “The Touch Of My Hand”

“Cause I just discovered/Imagination’s taken over/Another day without a lover/The more I come to understand the touch of my hand/The small of my back/The arch of my feet/Lately I’ve been noticing the beautiful me/I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait/I’m into myself in a most precious way”

2. Chuck Berry – My Find-A-Ling

When I was little boy in grammar school,
Always went by the very best rule,
But every time the bell would ring,
You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling.

1. The Undertones – Teenage Kicks

Are teenage dreams so hard to beat
Everytime she walks down the street
Another girl in the neighbourhood
Wish she was mine, she looks so good

I wanna hold you wanna hold you tight
Get teenage kicks right through the night

With…

Bonus Track:

Prince – Darling Nikki

Knew a girl named Nikki,
I guess you could say she was a sex friend.
I met her in a hotel lobby,
Masturbating with a magazine.

Turn up the knob…

Anorak

Posted: 4th, May 2009 | In: News Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink