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EastEnders To Feature Gay Muslim Suicide Vest Plot

by | 28th, May 2009

syedTHE funniest thing about EastEnders is that its producers think EastEnders is slice of life stuff. They actually think it represents the reaple, those “real people” for whom EastEnders is not just a bit of nonsense but a fly in the turd reflection of their world.

Now the BBC says EastEnders is “to tackle a storyline which will feature a Muslim man embarking upon a gay affair”.

Tackle it. As in, “Ooeh, nice tackle, sailor.”

The plot:

Newcomer Syed Masood, played by Marc Elliott, will fall for openly gay man Christian Clarke (John Partridge) and the pair will share an on-screen kiss. The plot is expected to hit TV screens from next month.

Hit – like a wet nan bread slapping a lump of wood.

So Muslim kisses Christian – indeed.

“I think EastEnders would be doing the programme a disservice if they didn’t give a voice to various communities,” Elliot told the BBC Asian Network. “I think that’s really important because I think London is a very ethnically diverse multicultural place, and EastEnders has a job to reflect that in the storylines it gives people and the characters they have on board.”

Which is why EastEnders wins awards at TV dos for Most Miserable Scene; Best use of A Smirk; Most Shagable Market Trader. Just like real life.

Of course if you want to see the real underground gay scene, just enjoy Phil Mitchell getting hard and being hard with other very hard men.

We’re not Worthy

Of course to give it real worth, the BBC must contact a Muslim to be offended:

However, the gay storyline has been criticised by Asghar Bokhari of the Muslim Public Affairs Committee.

Hullo, BBC calling…

“The Muslim community deserves a character that represents them to the wider public because Islamophobia is so great right now. There’s a lack of understanding of Muslims already and I think EastEnders really lost an opportunity to present a normal friendly Muslim character to the British public.”

What a normal family with a strong male character, a wife and a couple of children living in a home? Get in line, Asghar. That’s the stuff of arcane stereotypes that has no place of modin Brittin. EastEnders is relevant. It is not a freak show.

But the show’s executive producer Diedrick Santer said it was important to tackle issues which reflect real life.

“It’s really important that on EastEnders we give the Masoods big stories. Sometimes there’s a danger of being too careful with black or Asian characters that we might go into territories that might offend.”

Of just treating them, like the, er, everyone else…

“But it seems to me if we steer away from any controversy, they don’t stand a chance of being a great EastEnders family – they’ll just be in their kitchen unit making curries for years and years and that’s not going to be very interesting.”

Yeah, it’ll be like Victoria Wood’s, Dinner Ladies, Jamie At Home, Nigella Lawson and the Lawsons, a sitcom, or some other show that relies on talent, good writing, sound production values and better acting. You wot?! What you need instead of entertainment is sensation.

You know that Chrsitian wears a vest..? Well, why not get Syed – real name, er, Elliot – to suicide bomb vest?

And then Ian Beale wonders is London is ready for the “takeaway sandwich” revolution….



Posted: 28th, May 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink