Susan Boyle Mania Creates Susan Boyle’s Mania

SUSAN Boyle Mania gives way to Susan Boyle’s mania. The most famous woman that has ever walked the earth, the spiritual, moral and fiscal salve to all our ills, rests up in the Priory clinic.

Had it not been for Britain’s Got Talent, The Priory would have been deprived of a new celebrity resident. Anorak’s Susan Boyle Watch looks at the woman in the news:

The Weeping Boyle

SHATTERED Susan Boyle was rushed to a rehab clinic after she COLLAPSED following an emotional rant at Britain’s Got Talent chiefs. The singer, dramatically beaten in Saturday’s thrilling telly final, lashed out verbally at producers while in hiding at a London hotel. Then the star, who had wept all day, passed out in her bedroom - sparking frantic calls for a doctor - The Sun

Susan Boyle wept all day like an open sore, a metaphor for the world’s ills. Anyone collect the tears?

A show source said: “Susan couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t calm down. She worked herself into such a frenzy that she fainted.

SuBo the evangelist preacher.

As she entered the clinic on Sunday she called out for her beloved cat, wailing “Where’s Pebbles?” until medics arranged a phone call to the purring pet.

SuBo: Sobs
Pebbles: You f****** b****. All you had to do was sing a ******** song. But noooooooo. You went and f***** it right up. I hate you!
SuBo: Sobs

As one awkward untelegenic Scot to another…

Last night Susan, 48, who is being treated for exhaustion at the celebrity clinic in North London, received a get well message from Prime Minister Gordon Brown - Daily Mirror

IT’S NO SURPRISE, says  Tracy Alloway

Susan Boyle’s breakdown and odd behaviour during the final is not surprising. Many people with learning difficulties - Susan’s stem from a lack of oxygen at birth - find it hard to cope in stressful situations.

As do many people without learning difficulties. It’s a kind of equality…

They find it hard focussing and remembering things and can struggle to process information.

See those mentally negligible MPs who forgot they had a mortgage…

At the core of Susan’s problem is her working memory which stores and uses information.

Not coming second, then? Memoriiieeeesssssszzz….

Susan needs to develop this - possibly through brain-training exercises - to help deal with the high pressure situations under the spotlight that having a voice of an angel is set to bring along.

Doe a dear a female dear, ray a drop of golden sun, me a name… Go on Susan, what’s next?

D’oh!

Sainted rant

It was the internet, the realm of new media, that raised Boyle to global superstardom. Is it possible this more democratic realm might provide a more saintly balance to the traditional tabloid monster? - Peter Kirkwood, Eurekastreet

Mrs Piers Morgan

Pop artist Andy Warhol, who said everyone would be famous for 15 minutes, would surely have marvelled at Susan Boyle - from an unknown small town Scottish spinster to a worldwide ( especially U.S.) celebrity to The Priory. Piers Morgan said on U.S. TV she was a fragile, tragic figure. If he’d made an honest woman of Susan before the finale, might it all have been different? - Daily Mail

The Relieved Boyle

She looked unbelievably relieved when she didn’t win, so perhaps, relieved of the stress of competition, she can be the old, care-free Susan again, but I fear America is getting ready to embrace her - Wales Online

Lookism

Susan Boyle Effect: Good Looks Still Count For Success

Since Scottish singer Susan Boyle’s stellar performance on “Britain’s Got Talent” reminded us all that it’s what inside that matters most, our society’s obsession with good looks has been a hot topic… Now comes a new study showing that personal appearance shapes not only people’s attitudes toward our talents, but our ability to make money as well. Being good-looking directly increases the chances that you’ll make a lot of money on the job, compared with people who aren’t attractive, based on ratings of photographs by unbiased observers, says the study published recently in the Journal of Applied Psychology.
…

Like many parents, I found myself trying to help my kids understand and oppose “lookism,” or prejudice against unattractive people, starting around middle school - Sue Shellenbarger, Wall Street Journal

Anything else?

It is not only physical appearance that colors our expectations, but also class, education and location.

That’s Ricky Jay in the New York Times, who says 47-year-old Scottish songstress Susan Boyle is a victim of Scotland (and his research).

Boyle Your Head

Robert McNeil: Voice of an angel with harled concrete wings

I HAVE refrained from commenting on the Susan Boyle Affair, as many other top experts have already analysed the situation, leaving little for me to say. However, I intend to say it, as it is little things that make the world go round. Consider what I have to say, therefore, a load of ball-bearings.
Firstly, let me be clear: I have never watched Britain Has Talent. Frankly, I would rather hack off my own leg with nailclippers - Robert McNeil, The Scotsman

It’s how columnists work.

Boyle-d Alive

Let’s get one thing straight… 19.2 million people didn’t tune in to Britain’s Got Talent to watch two dance troupes performing competitive somersaults, a boy singer who thought he was Shirley Bassey or a simpering little girl squeaking the lyrics of an Andrew Lloyd Webber song… Sue Carroll, Daily Mirror

Some did. Like their mums and dads and the people who voted for them..?

And for about 10 minutes the world embraced the woman who appeared to shatter the glass ceiling hovering over anyone politely described as having “learning difficulties”.

There’s a  glass ceiling. Yikes! But how does the rain get through?

The elephant in the room that no one on BGT wants to acknowledge is that Susan has a disability.

See acres of newsprint about Hairy Elephant Susan’s Boyle’s disability.

The 48-year-old spinster was born with minor brain damage and has learning difficulties.

Bingo!

Before she was plucked from her Scottish village, Susan lived a quiet, happy life. She was a cheery soul who could manage her learning difficulties because she was wrapped in the bosom of a loving family and a close-knit community.

You mean, before she went on her own free will to audition for a TV show?

Shame On Us

Susan Boyle: Her sadness - and our shame - Britain’s Got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle is paying the price for instant fame - and we should look to ourselves for the culprits - Fiona McIntosh, Daily Mirror

Unless you voted for her to win.

You Make Me Sick!

Who feels ashamed? Who wants a de-tox? Who’s ready for a Campaign for Real Life?..

“I do,” say the faiires. “Me too,” say the elves.

Those gasps of theatrical delight and surprise and those crocodile tears were just part of the show. This is not real life, this is a drama – a nasty, demeaning drama, with a vulnerable, unprepared, star-struck woman at its centre and media-savvy judges licking their lips on the sidelines.

TV not real - read all about it!

People call reality television and the cult of celebrity just good harmless fun. This wasn’t harmless. I never saw anything else of Susan Boyle, though I did manage by some mysterious osmosis to pick up several facts about her. She was deprived of oxygen at birth and so suffered from learning difficulties, she was bullied at school, she was a virgin who had never been kissed, she had looked after her mother for most of her life, she had a cat. All of these facts served the narrative that we were being spoon-fed and were gobbling up: that she was Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty; that the poor may inherit the earth, and that dreams may come true - Nicci Gerrard, Daily Telegraph

Susan Boyle is all things to all hacks. Read Anorak all-purpose Susan Boyle article.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink