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London 2012: Drugs Make Fat People Exercise More

by | 3rd, June 2009

olympic-drugsHEADLINE of the day in the Telegraph, where hope is made new for Britons vying for gold at the Olympics 2012:

“Drugs ‘could make people more willing to exercise’.”

Yipeeeeeeeee!

Drugs like alcohol which induces people to walk, often to a pub or off licence.

Drugs like cannabis that cause track-suited lads on pushbikes to peddle fast through provincial estates, sometimes chased by other men on pushbikes…

Drugs like “e” which passed from hand to hand like a baton that no-one dare drop.

Drugs that could encourage people to exercise are being developed by scientists to combat obesity and diabetes.

Drugs like, er, speed and heroin and…

Dr Christian Bjorbaek, an endocrinologist at Harvard Medical School, Massachusetts, said: “This gives us the opportunity to search for drugs that might induce the desire or will to voluntarily exercise.”

Drugs to induce “voluntary exercise”? These drugs would make the exercise involuntary.

As part of the research, the mice become morbidly obese, severely diabetic and sluggish after being bred to lack the ability to respond to leptin.

We call these mice the Jeremy Kyle Sample.

But after leptin sensitivity was restored to a single class of their brain cells, their blood sugar levels rose and they increased their exercise levels.

“I say, Fivel, Angelina’s training as ballerina is amkign her a whizz at this rhythmic gymnastics lark.”

“Cooeeee, Gerry, fancy a game of beach volleyball?”

Three blind mice, see how they run, they all run in the Paralympics and do jolly well, what with being pricked up the bum by that burley woman in a smock.

Although they remained obese, the mice began eating about 30 per cent fewer calories and lost a modest amount of weight.

Fat British runners wanted. Apply within…

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink