Gordon Brown Trains For London Marathon
SO bad has it got for Gordon Brown that the Daily Star – the official Big Brother newspaper – replaces its front-page daily diet of BB news with a cartoon of the monocular leader.
What odds the paper has mistaken goings in the House of Commons for the Big Brother house:
Name: Gordon Brown
Nickname: Charlie
Hates: Celebrity
Allies in House: Sir Alan Sugar, Conservatives
Ambition: To appear in Nuts magazine, The Priory’s in-house journal
Favourite film: “I canna get the DVDs ta work”
Gordon you have been evicted.
“Nah! You’re only sayin’ that to test me. I won’t go. I won’t let you down. It’s them. Evict them first. See they’re leaving now. They’re all leaving. I told you I was right. I am always right. It’s what Jade would have wanted…”
What can now save Gordon Brown froom doom? Anorak has polled the typing pool and can now reveal Brown’s Requiem – Delayed!
1. Produce a dossier saying that we are all now safe from terror. Reveal summer holiday pictures of your clandestine trips to the caves of Pakistan, including one of you dressed in a cool sports jacket and Comfi-Slax stood over a dead Osama bin Laden, who is brandishing a kebab skewer.
2. Start training for a worthy national event, like the London Marathon, Masterchef or Britain’s Top Slimmer. A morning cooking demo outside Number 10 – Brown Bred – would be a hit.
3. Mow With Go – Each week Gordon walks a huge garden, field or windowbox with a member of the public, who just happens to be famous. While Gordon mows the grass, the voter talks about their life and spots unusual blades of crass and objects in the earth.
4. Make politics so unattractive that no-one wants to be Prime Minister
As Gordon Brown says:
“I’m going nowhere.”
And you know you can believe him…
Image: Hack
Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
