Anorak

Anorak | US Airlines Introduce Poop-Ons

US Airlines Introduce Poop-Ons

by | 6th, June 2009

poop-onsAMERICAN Airlines wants to know if you’ve been. Have you? American Airlines would like you to go before you, well, go. Don’t worry, the airline can wait. Hurry up.

You see, airlines are seeking to reduce fuel costs by reducing weight on planes. And American Airlines is requiring that all passengers use the bathroom before boarding the plane.

Passengers are directed to the porta-pottiesm, such as those being delivered to Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport.

Passengers are instructed on how to use the porta potty measuring device.

Says American Airlines spokeswoman, Jeannette Spencer:

“This is in the best interest for all our customers. Not only does it reduce fuel usage and lower costs, but it also reduces the lines for the bathroom on the plane at the gate and once it is in the air. We estimate that each year, 10,374 hours are wasted at the gate while our customers use the on-plane lavatory causing takeoff delays. This will ensure that everyone has already gone before the flight departs.”

Passengers must use the facilities at least twenty minutes prior to leaving and will not be allowed to board unless they have “tried to go” at least twice. Receipts are provided at the facilities for proof of deposit.

It gets better:

As a bonus, passengers who eliminate more than two pounds of waste will receive a refund for every additional six ounces deposited. Mark Crawler of Byhalia, Mississippi has taken full advantage of the situation:

“I ate like a champ last night and made sure I had bran flakes and a bunch of coffee this morning and wah-la, $25 in poop-ons”.

You can redeem your Poop-Ons against a tocken for Ryan Air’s Peephole

HolyJuan



Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Money Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink