David Carradine Killed By Monsters

DAVID Carradine is dead – found tethered and hanging in a closet in a Thai hotel – and the media wonders if he died by fair means or foul?

In the Sun, Pete Samson delivers:

“Secret Kung Fu sect ‘killed Kill Bill Bill’.”

In death is pun, and much speculation:

KILL Bill star David Carradine was murdered by kung fu killers, his family claimed last night. Relatives of the US actor suggested he was assassinated for delving into the activities of shadowy martial arts sects.

Carradine was Grasshopper in the TV series Kung Fu. And the Eighth Tabloid Rule of Journalism dictates that:

“Any moment in the star’s life and death should be linked to the source of their fame.”

So here’s the story that Carradine is a victim of shadowy gang of Kung Fu-ists.

Anorak also notes that Carradine starred in My Suicide, Homo Erectus, Dead & Breakfast, Knocking On Death’s Door, Bound For Glory and appeared as himself in The Best Of Sex And Violence.

But Carradine was Grasshopper, and there the story begins and ends:

Carradine, 72, hero of 1970s series Kung Fu, was found dead in a hotel in Bangkok naked and with a rope round his neck, wrists and manhood. Thai police think he died as a result of a bondage game.

All alleged of course. But one imagines that if any group knows about Western sex games it is the Thais, or Tory MPs.

But hanging yourself for as a ageing aid to masturbation is so unflattering to the deceased, and “his family’s lawyer said it was possible he was targeted for trying to expose underworld groups.”

Well, it is possible he was on a quest for justice. It is also possible that the wardrobe monsters got him. Or that he became horrible entangled in one of those hotel hangers where the bases comes free of the top. Or he wanted to be dry cleaned…

Speaking on the Larry King Live chat show on US television, lawyer Mark Geragos said there had been “conflicting reports” about the death. A member of the show’s panel said: “David was very interested in investigating and disclosing secret societies.”

Problem with secret societies, and secret investigations of secret societies, is the lack of evidence and finding anyone willing to talk.

It’s all so very secretive.

Geragos replied: “Absolutely. What that means is connected to his interest in martial arts. And so there is a suspicion that if there was some foul play, that may be the first area they should look.”

Depends what you mean by foul?

Another ex-wife, Gail Jensen, said he was “pretty strange” and loved bondage.

But, then, is she one of, you know, them..?

David Carradine Naked Photos

Anorak

Posted: 8th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink