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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Acceptance Speech In Full

by | 15th, June 2009

ahmadinejadUNRESTRAINED by a need to be credible, the novelist or tabloid hack can only envy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and wonder where the story will next turn.

Ahmadinejad has now addressed the crowd and the mob and explained that things are as they because that is how they are meant to be.

Says he:

In truth, when Simon Cowell offered me a place on the judging panel of American Idol I was forced to consider my position. My win at the polls is also a win for Paula Abdul, who gets to keep her seat for another season. It being God’s will.

I’d also like to thank Cristiano Ronaldo for giving me so much support over the past few moths, which have been, at times, trying. Like him, I too move on to pastures new and challenging. Ronnie, keep in touch.

I’d also like to say that it was very sad that my opponents, who I shall not lower myself to name for fear of upsetting their poor children, but whom my supporters call Macca, should engage in “psychological warfare”.

I am not bitter towards Mir Hossein Mousavi, just disappointed. Had I wanted to go to his level of personal attack, I could have mentioned his trips to Praia da Luz. But as Her Majesty The Queen tells me repeatedly in our evening chats, “Rise above it. Rise above and if you must, stoop to conquer. Above all, be understanding.”

One time, I remembered the words of my former lover Princess Diana, as I sat by the side of a road having run the mile from my sainted mother’s house to scene of a loud explosion (Time: 3 minutes 23 seconds), where I had dragged a pregnant mother from a burning car. As she told me in one of her many letters: “Touch and you will be touched, like me.”

I feel sad that not everyone can accept me for who I am. I am being treated worse than a paedophile, who naming no names, I defeated only yesterday.

Like my old room mate at Oxford University, Baron Jeffrey Archer, I am prepared to move on. I only pray that you are, too.

God Bless.



Posted: 15th, June 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink