Peter Andre Inflates Jordan’s Knickers
PETER Andre and Jordan Watch: Katie Price straps on her trademark Jordans, hanger-oners suck a bitter-tasting fame from Katie’s teets and Peter Andre finds a new inflatable toy…
The Cynical Jordan
Daily Mirror: “Jordan binge could cost her 3m”
Clemmie Moodie tells readers:
Katie Price could lose up to £3million if she’s axed from a string of lucrative endorsement deals. Some of her contracts are believed to be under review after her recent wild behaviour following her split from Peter Andre.
Deals like:
Her money-spinning deals include a £2million lingerie and £1million bed linen contract.
Jordan’s knickers could always be repackaged as novelty cheese wires, and hanging baskets, and anyone keen on experiencing the Jordan’s linen can smear an anorak with vegetable oil and wood stain and cosy up.
A source said: “Since coming out of the jungle in I’m A Celebrity, Katie has built a fantastically marketable career as Katie Price, mother of three children and a role model to young girls.”
The cynical marketing ploy that seeks to sell us not one but two Katie Prices - the sexless topless model or the wonderful caring mum. Katie Price is dead.
“… From being a respected self-made entrepreneur, some people – young women and mothers in particular – have turned against her.”
Self made? Oh, irony of ironies.
Jordan’s X
Daily Star: “Kate is the woman from hell. Our kids are in bits. But I still love her.”
Words attributed to Peter Andre, who may prefer Katie or Jordan, or Pricey or any other bulging variant on the theme.
Sun:
JORDAN crossed hubby Peter Andre out of her life yesterday - by covering her tattoo of his name with a thick black X.
The glamour model paid £85 for the inking to hide his name on her wrist.
Anorak had the scoop. And some suggestion that would have been better than big black ‘X’.
Das Boot
As Katie arrived at the marina just outside Ibiza town, she threw a strop when she saw the 400 euro an hour speed boat. She screeched: “Is that the f****** size of it.”
Jordan may suffer from Perspective Distortion Syndrome brought on by seeing the world over massive pair of comedy breasts.
Jordan: “But as he was talking of his lost love Katie, otherwise known as Jordan, donned a white bikini with silver chains and lapped up the attention from her companions…”
Peter: “On Father’s Day, he was spotted playing with son Junior, four, and Princess Tiáamii, who turns two next week, on a Cyprus beach. The family all wore life jackets as they larked about on an inflatable dinghy with one of Peter’s brothers.”
Jordan: “IT was a case of bottoms up for Jordan today, as she stuck her bum out while enjoying a boat trip with a load of hunks.”
Peter’s dignified silence
Contact Music: “Peter Andre’s ‘clingy Chidlren”
He told Britain’s New! magazine: “All three of the kids are really clinging to me at the moment and I can’t even go to the toilet without them all trying to come with me! Princess has become a total daddy’s girl and seems to be obsessed with me.”
Like her dad…
Image: Celebrity Gossip
Posted: 23rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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June 23rd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
You forgot, shoving a mobile phone (possibly to retrieve the lost sky remote) up her snatch.
http://www.shakewellbeforeuse.com/images/Katie-Price-cell-phone-02.jpg
Classy
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Jordan - famous for pulling her boobs out in public to advertise her calendars for men to buy.
Special card - Extra large implants, lots of long blonde hair, young.
Late 20’s career flagged, entered reality show.
Met Peter Andre, also with flagging career.
Perfect match - a lot in common, both had careers based on looks not pure talent.
Special card - and agent that cashed in on the Fairytale romance and the perfect looking couple had a Barbie wedding.
Special card - Katie cashed in on the disabled son card and was even voted best mother.
Products - Horse stories for children. By this time many thought she had really become a good role model and overlooked her tarty past and bought the books.
Bad idea - the reality shows showed us that far from a good mother Katie used nannies and spent too much time thinking about how she looked or how people thought she looked. Both Katie and Peter came across as a shallow, arrogant couple that put themsleves before their kids.
Katie now - no special card - hair dark - looks 10 years older - boobs smaller - in 30’s.
Her advertising of her boobs in public no longer gain men’s admiration as they now see her as a mother figure and it is unattractive to see a woman abandon her kids for a boozy holiday where she acts like a complete tart.
Calendars will not sell well to men anymore.
Childrens books, perfume and bedlinnen will not sell well to women anymore as they do not wish to identify with a cheap tart .
Peter - special card - he has an agent that is cashing in on the good dad image to sell his songs. This is sincere, you can see that, however it is still not good for the kids to be caught up in an advertising campaign.
People will buy his albums, but many will wonder how hard he tried to save his marriage.
Conclusion ; Katie was happy being Jordan and just went along with the good girl image to make more money and keep Peter happy.
She is displaying all the symptoms of an alcoholic. Peter has tried to show her she needs help but there is nothing he can do. She has to see for herself that she has a problem, unfortunately she has surrounded herself by people who also have the same problem.
I do feel sick watching this as I know she is about to spiral down to her lowest point and on the way she will blame Peter. I pray that they both take themselves out of the limelight, stay at home and give up these horrid reality shows.
The reality is that life with Peter and Katie is not perfect , they tried too hard to convince themselves and everyone else that it was .
They both have enough money so please no more…..no more stories please…..
when will we learn….we watched the Diana and Charles fairytale fall apart and end in distaster and now we are about to witness another fairytale go wrong…..no more.
Fairytales are not real, reality shows are not real and Jordans boobs are not real!!!!!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:51 am
…fer fecks sake…this is worse than I first thought…..we think I am now turning into a pycho also……it’s Jordan’s fault i tell you….the bitch is the Satan with silicone & a suntan…
Katie needs to cut her up and kick her out…..Poor Petey….what did he ever do?..to deserve this.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 am
Me & my new found friends have just had a conference and concluded that Katie must kill Jordan …there is no other way for this nightmare to end.
P.S. I have tried drink & drugs and they don’t work.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
So, it will be Percies 1,2 and 3?
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:12 am
Trust me Percy. Next stop (damage limitation) will be the Bi-Polar diagnosis that forgives everything.
See Kerry Katona.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:41 am
…you could,nt make this up…….could you? …Well you could…but would it be worth it?………yes it would.
Fecking hell this story has made me go schizo….got me speaking to myselves….I’m becoming just like Katie/Jordan. I think I better go and sit in a quiet corner and get a grip on myself….and my new found pair of enormous tits.
This could be more fun than I/we first thought.