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Anorak | The Five Craziest Michael Jackson Death Theories

The Five Craziest Michael Jackson Death Theories

by | 26th, June 2009

2-jacksonyoung1MICHAEL Jackson’s death has not only knocked Iran from the news but allowed the media to speculate on what killed the King of Pop.

Anorak brings you the Top Five Theories of Michael Jackson’s death:

1. Overdose on Painkillers:

The Sun reports on “an Emergency Room source at UCLA hospital said Jackson aides told medics he had collapsed after an injection of potent Demerol — similar to morphine.”

Says a Jackson source:

“Shortly after taking the Demerol he started to experience slow shallow breathing.

“His breathing gradually got slower and slower until it stopped.

“His staff started mouth-to-mouth and an ambulance was called which got there in eight minutes “But found he was in full respiratory arrest, no breathing and no pulse. They started full CPR and rushed him to hospital.

“When he arrived they started resuscitation, giving him heart shocks and inserted a breathing tube and other supportive measures to try and save his life.

“He never regained consciousness.The family was told that he had passed.”

2. He’s not Dead It’s just a publicity stunt to drum up, er, publicity.

Perez Hilton, the unctuous gossip blogger says:

As Gawker notes, “In the last hour Perez Hilton has taken down the photo shown here and amended his original post so he doesn’t look as bad, but here’s the text of what he originally posted”:

We knew something like this would happen!!

Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!

His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!

We are dubious!!

Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ‘95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal!

He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!

Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!

Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!

Look out for the return of Heath Ledger – the world’s leading method actor.

3. Killed By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

For well over a week, Iran was the media’s lead news story. But now Iran is old news, overtaken by the dearth of Michael Jackson.

The top stories on Twitter at the time of writing are:

Michael Jackson
Jacko
Ticket refunds
I am Michael Jackson
Wacko Jacko
Jordy Chandler
Farrah Fawcett
Habitat – Michael Jackson’s favourite high street future store
Farrah Fawcett swimsuit
Obama says “we bore witness to Jackson”

4. Michael Jackson only 45% dead.

Michael Jackson is not dead. According to cosmetic surgeons, only 45% of the original Jackson remained, which means 55% – the greater part – remains alive.

Although being a Michael Jackson impersonator is akin to hitting a moving target, there are now so many people who look like Jackson that the King of Pop swapped places with one of them in a Prince And the Pauper-style story.

5. Madame Tussaud’s is missing a waxwork.



Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (20) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink