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Sarah Palin Resigned Over Retarded Sex Tape

by | 4th, July 2009

palin-dogWANT to know why Sarah Palin quit as Governor of Alaska, and wants to keep that sex tape quiet? (O0ps!) The US media knows why Palin quit. In telling readers why, the nodding heads explain why – to escape this kind of misogynistic personal abuse:

Increase Retards

In Sarah Palin’s resignation announcement she complained about the treatment of her son Trig who always teaches her life lessons. She said that the “world needs more Trigs, not fewer.” That’s a presidential campaign promise we can all get behind. She will be the first politician to actually try to increase the population of retarded peopleHuffington Post, Erik Sean Nelson

Nelson achieves a new low in journalism.

Spread Downs Syndrome

She wants to spread Down syndrome. When, earlier today, Sarah expressed a desire for more “Trigs” in the world, I could not have agreed more, because Down syndrome is just too cute to be reserved for 1 in 800 births – Talking Points Memo.

Wayne Francis mines a new low in the abuse aimed at Palin

She’s Pregnant

In a discussion on CNN earlier today with Candy Crowley, Rick Sanchez says:

There have been a couple other situations that might cause someone to feel a lot of stress. But aside from those, is there anything going on with her that perhaps may lead her to want to make this decision, and the one thing that’s still left out there is, hey, could she be pregnant againInquisitr

Blood sports

Sarah Palin abruptly resigned on Friday as governor of Alaska, saying she did not want to waste her time on ”political blood sport” and would hand power to her deputy later this monthFT

President Palin

Sarah Palin, the former Republican vice-presidential candidate who electrified her party’s campaign last year, has resigned as Alaska’s governor in a dramatic decision that has fuelled speculation she is positioning herself to run for presidentThe Guardian

She Breached Ethics

More importantly, there are rumors in Alaska that more Ethics Act charges are in the works and that there is also a more serious Federal investigation focusing on Palin during her tenure as mayor in Wasilla and the building of her home and a sports complex in Wasilla, long speculated to have been linked. It’s the one very touchy subject whenever you bring it up in the MatSu Valley. As someone who is writing a book on Palin, I can attest to the fact that there are always rumors flying about her, not all of them true, but this seems like a real possibility, especially given the timing of her announcement today – Huffington Post, Geoffrey Dunn

Such are the,er, facts.

To Cash In

Palin also has a multi-million dollar book project for Rupert Murdoch that she needs to complete in time for a spring release. That’s some serious cabbage, and there were grumblings in Alaska about the book deal as well. There will be other lucrative, high-visibility media options for her shortly down the road. Don’t be surprised to hear of one of those popping up soon. This frees her up to reach for the gold ring without her minions being able to register any complaints. In that respect, it’s a logical moveHuffington Post, Geoffrey Dunn

A book? Yes, like the one Geffrey Dunn is writing about how much he, er, knows about Sarah Palin.

The Roving Republican

The head of the Republican Governor’s Association said on Friday that in emails sent to him moments before she announced her resignation as governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin discussed expanding the role she played in the Republican Party.

“Part of her decision is she wants to spend more time campaigning for candidates,” Nick Ayers, the executive director of the RGA, told Fox News.

“She felt like she needed to make her colleagues around the country aware, so she had given us a brief heads up,” Ayers said of getting the emails. “We have known for a couple of days she was considering not running for re-election but it was news today that she had gone ahead and made the decision to fully step down and resign.”Huffington Post

She Hates Politics

Speaking on MSNBC, Andrea Mitchell reported that, according to “people very close to Sarah Palin,” she has “told her supporters that she is out of politics, period. She is fed up with politics. She doesn’t like her life. She feels that she needs to raise her family. She’s sick of the commute from Wasilla to the capital. And she really does not want to run for higher office, that this is not a case where she is stepping down in order to clear the way for a presidential run. In fact, she has told some of her biggest backers in the national Republican Party that they are free to choose other candidates for 2012 – Huffington Pozzzzzt

The Huff Po has every angle covered, and then some.

Sex Tape

Some say she’ll begin rebuilding her image and powerbase so she can run for President. We like the theory that she’s vamoosing as quickly as possible in advance of a bombshell scandal. Preferably a sex scandal. Proof of that affair. Or a sex tape – Tabloid Baby

Another tape?

Vanity Unfair

Palin locks horns with the media on a regular basis, and the most recent addition to America’s Palin-bashing oeuvre—Todd Purdum’s 10,000-word Vanity Fair profile—was a doozy. Palin’s closest colleagues ridiculed her with nicknames like “Little Shop of Horrors,” accusations of incompetence and a personality disorder, and leaked personal emails. Alluding to Palin’s notoriously thin skin when it comes to media criticism (last week, an amateur blogger named “Celtic Diva” prompted Palin to ask for the president to intervene), Talking Points Memo’s Josh Marshall characterized Palin’s resignation speech as “a colossal sulk… an effort on her part to ingeniously combine anti-liberal media-bias agitation with Christianist politics by portraying herself as having been crucified by the liberal media.”Daily Beast

As if the liberal media dislikes her? Pah! We’re downs with Talking Point Memo (geddit?)

An Affair

Alaskan Sarah Palin authority (and occasional BRAD BLOG guest blogger) Shannyn Moore, who broke the news at HuffPo today, tells me she believes, with good reason, that there is an “iceberg scandal that’s about to break. She’s doing damage control.” She says Palin is “resigning as part of damage control” due to a scandal that is “not of a family nature.” …

“The governor would not be able to continue her job when it comes out,” she told me on the phone just now, before adding: “Why would Mark Sanford not resign, but Sarah Palin did? Her family didn’t even know about the resignation until they were standing with her by the lake” when she made her announcement Brad Blog

Calidorni Californe Californus

In 49 BC, Julius Caesar led his army across the Rubicon River. As he did so, he reportedly muttered the phrase “Alea iacta est” – “the die is cast”. It was the point of no return.

Sarah Palin has crossed the Rubicon today. It’s a gamble of incredible proportions. None of us saw it coming, and we’re the most dedicated political junkies you will find anywhere. It took our breath awayConservatives4Palin

The Non-Scandal Scandal Leon Wolf

The third is that there is another shoe that has yet to drop, whether scandal, undisclosed health or personal issue, or other. It is probably pointless to speculate on these matters until they become known: if another shoe is set to drop, then drop it will, and we should expect it soon. The longer time goes pasr without word of it, the less likely it is that it exists – New Ledger

Star Wars

I’ve had this running thought all day, perhaps because I was watching it on TV in HD for the first time, that this is kind of like Ben Kenobi letting Darth Vader strike him down. Palin is not going to run in 2012, but by doing this she can now become Barack Obama’s worst nightmare, and help rebuild the opposition to Obama. How? Because were she to remain a 2012 contender, she’d keep having stories by anonymous McCain campaign staffers and other 2012 contenders going after her and her family. Take that ambition off the table and it neutralizes a lot of that. So she can focus on candidates and ideas without an ulterior motive focused on 2012Daily Kos

To Build The Brand

So the really interesting question is, what will she do now? Putting aside boring things like spending more time with her family, I think the answer is clear – video blogging…

Here’s my advice to Sarah Palin. One, change your Twitter name from @AKGovSarahPalin to something that gives you more wiggle room. Two, keep a close eye on @FakeSarahPalin. Three, start claiming YouTube channels, website domains, Facebook fan pages, and other obvious online locations as your own. (Check out with T. Boone Pickens did with the Pickens Plan, perhaps.) Four, go to Best Buy and pick up some equipment – a high end desktop computer, a video camera, some extra storage drives, and some video editing software. Five, get your voice out there – start writing for True/Slant or The Daily Beast, put up 5 minute videos with your raw opinions about news or issues on YouTube, and start experimenting more with things like Twitter, Seesmic, and 12 Seconds when you’re mobilTrue Slant

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Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink