Carpenter Saws Off His Penis

CARPENTER Stuart Keen is working the wood at his home workshop in Wantage, Oxfordshire, as he chops off his own penis.

Oh, the irony.

Picking up his phone, Stewart calls the medics:

“Help me – I’m bleeding to death.”

Police arrive. Mr Stewart and his severed penis are taking a bath. With speed, then, to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, where the penis is reattached to its man.

Says Stewart’s Edna, 84:

“Stuart had a very nasty accident with a saw but he is recovering now. He suffered tissue damage and had surgery to stitch him up which, I understand, was successful…

“Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools. This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession.”

Might it therefore be advised that carpenters fashion themselves a wooden box before using the saw and chisel?

Or take up metalwork…

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Anorak

Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink