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Michael Jackson Died Three Times And Jennifer Aniston Is Pregnant

by | 28th, July 2009

7639303THIS Week In The National Enquirer: Michael Jackson died three times, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant, Britney Spears kidnap fears and Jessica Simpson deflates…

Jennifer Ansiton tells Brad Pitt she’s pregnant

“JEN’S BABY NEWS STUNS BRAD! – Jen tells Brad I think I’m pregnant”

Has Gerard Butler, Jen’s new co-star, left her with child? Well, possibly. A source says Jennifer told Brad that she was late on her monthly cycle and that might mean that she was pregnant, or not. Either way it’s huge news.

And it’s getting huger. Having told the world that Jen is embroiled in a “steamy affair” with the aforesaid Butler, readers are asked to wonder who might be the father of the baby that Jennifer Aniston might be having, or not…

Jessica Simpson Jilted Again!

jessica-simpson2It’s ambulatory inflatable doll Jessica Simpson, who has been dumped by Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback Tony Romo.

“Tony Romo was looking for just the right moment to finally get Jessica Simpson out of his life – and he found it at an international House of Pancakes in the middle of Texas!”

He waited for her to go to the syrup trough and hid behind a tall stack..?

The story goes that Romo pulled over and told Simpson to get out his car. She did. He drove off. She bounced around waiting for help…

Question of the week: Is Kevin Federline’s girlfriend pregnant?

The Enquirer says Vitoria Prince “felt sick while having lunch with Kevin”.

Anyone else feel sick when the see K-Ferret? Best get a pregnancy kit, or a paper bag?

Britney Spears Kidnap Horror!

“Singer terrified her kids will be KIDNAPPED OR KILLED”.

Kids views on matter not known.

“Michael Jackson died 3 times in 18 months – Before final overdose!”

The Enquirer says Jackson’s heart stopped beating a hears from a source:

“You have to wonder if it was all a game for Michael. Did he get some bizarre enjoyment when he flatlined or ‘died’? Maybe in his mind he thought things were beautiful on the other side…

“Once after doctors finally managed to wake him up, Michael said he’ had died and gone to heaven and it felt good.”

Suicide?

Now read on…

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Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink