Amy Winehouse Was A ‘Porn Star’
AFTER the drugs comes the sex, and news in the Star that Amy Winehouse is “as addicted to sex as drugs and has to feed her nookie habit five times a night”.
Five times a night. It is always five times a night. It’s the 10th rule of tabloid journalism. If Winehouse has sex six times in a night she is allowed to carry it over to the next evening; four times a night and she risk looking like a prude. On five times a night are reputations made and lost.
First up to tell of his sex with Wino is one Alex Haines.
“It was like having my own little porn star. Amy was so dirty, she wanted sex all the time. We did it four or five times a day and she’d even wake me up for it. She was addicted to sex like she was to drugs.”
An Alex Claire says that on the first night they met, Winehouse, allegedly, held his head under the water for several seconds as they shagged in the bath.
Yeah, Winehouse in a bath. With water.Wouldn’t tyou make her do that before you shagged her?
“Amy was very dominant. She liked to bark orders and screamed what she wanted me to do. She liked tying me up and binding my arms with a scarf so I was powerless to resist her. She started by slapping my face. Then she bit me a few times on the chest or neck.”
That’ll be the munchies…
“That hurt. She liked to be treated quite rough in return. Then she begged me to tie her up, so I’d bind her hands behind her back with a belt.”
And run without looking back?
“…I’d get clobbered by her huge beehive and there would be black mascara all over my face.”
Pete Doherty’s minder Johnny Headlock lifts his head to add:
“She was wild. She went for hours and couldn’t get enough. She made a lot of noise and loved being spanked. It was really rock ’n roll.”
A roll on the buns and an urge to toss the computer monitor out of the window.
As for these so-called lovers… Well, let’s be easy on them, owning up to having schtupped Winehouse can’t be easy, and if they find a blimp of comfort in numbers then so be it.
The therapy suite is open…
Posted: 29th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- yampster on Jeremy Kyle: Access All Areas: Kyle Meets The People Of Walmart
- eggman on Jeremy Kyle: Access All Areas: Kyle Meets The People Of Walmart
- yampster on The Pirelli 2010 Calendar In Artful Nudity (NSFW)
- justlooking on The Pirelli 2010 Calendar In Artful Nudity (NSFW)
- yampster on In Photos: Susan Boyle Sings Rockefeller Center Plaza In New York City
July 29th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
What signal’s the end of a round? Maybe it’s when the grim reaper come’s knocking. Or maybe it’s when you know it’s time for a beer. lol
July 29th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Five times a night if it didn’t maybe work out on the first second thrid and fourth time?
July 29th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
I have never understood how men or women in the entertainment world can brag publicly of their sexual activities and be so crude to expose their partner’s sexual tastes. Frankly, it reads more like the AHs telling their stories were sitting watching porn movies and fantasizing from them.
July 29th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
…probably the banging on the wall from irate neighbours, to cries of “give it a rest for f**k’s sake”……
either that or the onset of a state of coma…..
July 29th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I’ve never understood the concept of five times a night. How long a break do you have to have in between “rounds”? What signals the end of a round?