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Anorak | Jennifer Aniston Is Pregant, Mel Gibson’s Hair Plugs And Michael Jackson’s Drugs Runner

Jennifer Aniston Is Pregant, Mel Gibson’s Hair Plugs And Michael Jackson’s Drugs Runner

by | 4th, August 2009

jolie-pittNATIONAL Enquirer Tuesday: Angelina Jolie “explodes”, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant, Mel Gibson’s “hair plugs” and Michael Jackson’s drugs runner…

ANGELINA Jolie “EXPLODES”.

And the National Enquirer asks readers:

Is Jennifer [Aniston] having your baby?

This question might be pertinent. Over the past five years, Aniston’s womb has been the subject of much speculation in the Enquirer, it being possibly impregnated by a host of actors whose names are too long to list here.

Now the Enquirer is asking you, the reader, if you are father to Aniston’s baby.

Inside the magazine, and beneath a picture of Angelina Jolie looking fraught, the question:

IS JEN HAVING YOUR BABY?

But before old Mr Anorak can confess, Brad Pitt fields the question. And the answer is…no.

Reading on, we see a picture of Aniston with a hand over her tum-tum, a picture that in showbiz terms means she is calling BOAST and expecting twins, as is the Hollywood norm.

So she’s pregnant. The hand over the tum does not lie. Only, Aniston is not pregnant.

As you were, Old Mr Anorak, Jeffrey Archer, Noel Edmonds, Bournemouth FC Reserves and Michael Jackson – no need to answer…

Mel Gibson Wigs Out

mel-gibson-bald1Mike Walker says Mel Gibson’s lover Oksana Grigorieva spotted her lover’s pate and yelled:

“Darling…you need to get more hair implants.”

Anorak fact: Jesus had hair plugs. (Image.)

Dwayne Swingler would likle the world to know: “I WAS MICHAEL JACKSON’S DRUG RUNNER.”

Says he:

“I became the supervisor for Neverland where my job was to oversee pretty much everything. I ahd the keys for every room in the house – Mciahela’s office at the abck, his recording studios, the zoo, movie theatre, his bedroom.”

7548374The downstairs toilets, the garage, the broom cupboard…

Having established his importance – “I was the main man” – Swingler says Jackson was “doped up 24 horus a day” and that he’d pick up bags of drugs for him.

So say the main man who then says that Jackson would have gaggles of 12 to 14 year olds in his room and:

“They would have bottles of light beer… or white or red wine there in his bedroom. I couldn’t says, ‘hey, oput the win back.’ They wer ein charge.”

So he wasn’t the main man? Or he was the main man when the main boys weren’t in town?

More Jackson & Me news for follow…



Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink