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Amy Winehouse Talks To Blake Through Her Pussy

by | 14th, August 2009

pussy1AMY Winehouse is communicating with Blake Fielder-Civil via her pussy… cat. Yes, we know it’s smutty, but we’re still in mourning for Mrs Slocombe. And like her, Amy Winehouse has turned into a cat lady.

Reports are that Winehouse is speaking to Blaaaaaake on Facebook through her cat Shirley’s profile.

The Sun has more:

AMY WINEHOUSE has set up a Facebook profile pretending to be her cat as a way of keeping in secret contact with BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL.

Who’s to say Winehouse’s not channelling Shirley? Take enough drugs and even the kitchen units speak to you.

Currently appearing in rehab, Blake can hear the cat talking to him. “There could only be one winner,” says Shirley. “She’s with me now.”

And what better way for a high-profile star to keep things secret than over Facebook, that online graffiti wall? If she really wants to keep it hush-hush, Wino can take a full page advert in the Independent.

So what else does Shirley say?

“Oi mummy was saying to her friend about th time she made you breakfast an you drank all th nesquik til you was sick xxxxxxx.”

It’s a gorgeous tableau of the Winehouses at home. Shirley purrs on:

“Sailor sort it you’re her co-hort. consort still. as you both know you’re unswerving. just as much as you’re deserving.”

Sailor, we learn, is one of Winehouse’s nicknames for Blake. Why it is, we are not told, but it’s not too hard to imagine her piping him aboard.

We also do not learn how the Sun came to learn of this meeting of minds. But cats do talk, and the Sun’s ratter is a notorious gossip.

And after Wino, we learn of goings on Blake’s Facebook profile:

When Blake first set up his account, he listed himself as single. A short while later he changed his relationship status to “It’s complicated”. Now, after a few days of cat conversation, Blake has switched his status firmly back to “Married”.

The legal position says “divorced”…

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Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink