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Anorak | Amy Winehouse Upstages Fern Britton On Strictly Come Dancing

Amy Winehouse Upstages Fern Britton On Strictly Come Dancing

by | 19th, August 2009

amy-winehouse-strictlyIT’S reality TV season and news that the BBC is trying to lure dieter Fern Britton to dance on Strictly Come Dancing.

As the Mirror says:

“BEEB LAUNCH BID TO LURE BRITTON ON TO STRICTLY”

Time for a game, then, Anorak readers. What would you us to lure Fern Britton to a TV studio?

a) Biscuits
b) Chicken madras and stuffed nan
c) Chocolate-coated Ryvita
d) Kiwi lothario Brendan Cole
e) Terry Waite’s urine

The answer is… d. Yes, the waxy Cole “has been offered as her Strictly dance partner”.

And lest you be unimpressed that a TV presenter who is no longer presenting should want to appear on the BBC, the Mirror trills:

A studio source said: “Fern is a major coup.

“Producers have been wooing her for some time but it is only in the last few days talks have really progressed. Brendan was lined-up to dance with Jo Wood but now bosses have offered him to Fern as bait. Fern is bound to get lots of attention and they believe he’s the guy most equipped to handle it.”

Cole has big hands, huge hands. He also has a larder full of a full range of spreads and pâtés. And a impressive crackers selection box.

“Another incentive for Fern, of course, is that she’s bound to lose yet more weight, and will be offered a host of magazine and TV deals.”

Fame and money are no incentive when compared with the chance to dance with the waxy Cole. (Put that line to music and you’ve got this year’s dance hit.)

But might Fern and Brendan be upstaged? The Mirror has more:

BBC bosses are said to be keen to attract a younger viewer this year to rival X Factor’s popularity with the 16-30 market. As part of the revamp, several big name artists, including Amy Winehouse, are lined up to perform on the show.

The sentence is ambiguous – is Winehouse appearing on the X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing, or do the facts matter less than Mirror hacks’ Clemmie Moodie and Mark Jefferies’ ability to mention both show in one article?

But it gets us wondering: how would you lure Amy Winehouse onto Strictly Come Dancing?

a) Drugs
b) Lager
c) Fern Britton
d) A big red kite

It’s reality TV season – make your judgements… now!



Posted: 19th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink