Swine Flu Victims Buried in Mass Graves
THE summer’s big media scare story continues to be swine flu. And the good thing about swine flu is that should it not kill us all, the media can say that it will when the weather turns colder, or hotter.
Now learn via the Daily Mail:
The government is planning to create a series of mass graves to cope with a second outbreak of swine flu in the autumn.
No, not for the pigs – for you:
A Home Office document warns that a mass burial site may be needed to cope with the potential crisis.
London’s O2 centre could be put to good use, and out of its misery. But can it see off the challenge presented by Swindon, a town that could do with the extra revenue raised by grieving relatives?
The Framework for Planners Preparing to Manage Deaths… discusses using “a grave that is for a number of unrelated persons, excavated mechanically in advance and designed for efficient preparation and use.”
Is the Large Hadron Collider working yet? We could export out dead to Switzerland, place of civic pride and assisted suicide?
The report also warned there may be a need for more “basic and shorter services at the chapel” or for “memorial services” to be held at a person’s home instead.
The mourners head to the place where the swine flu victim lived and died? Why not wait until they’re within and nail the door shut?
And sing German marching songs to keep spirits up..?
Spotters: June and Robert Carter in the forums…
As Newsweek’s Kate Dailey put sit:
You (Probably) Won’t Die From Swine Flu: Putting H1N1 in Perspective
What perspective?
Posted: 20th, August 2009 | In: Media, Scare Stories Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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August 20th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Jack
you are making me larf , well done and welcome to Anorak….
August 20th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Using Swin(e)don for holding all the politicians, vaccine-makers spokesmen and government health officials involved in this whole farce for an unlimited length of time would be a very apt alternative …..
August 20th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Swin(e)don does have a great name, but it just lacks the basic opportunities of landing this whole ridiculous vaccine-£billions-profits fiasco firmly back into the government’s lap …literally.
August 20th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Besides, its necessary to have them tested to see whether they actually died of swine flu, or of misdiagnosis and lack of treatment for real life threatening illnesses like meningitis, or of the vaccine itself, etc and Parliament buildings are an ideal large location for undertaking the testing before nipping them through the back door, down to the river wall, and bundling them all over into the waiting dredger.
August 20th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
The vision of the Eurostar speeding its way down the River Thames and holding up a dredger carrying a deathly cargo down the water is almost as bizarre as the government having us believe we need mass graves.
I like that one.
August 20th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Trouble is , the Eurostar route is in the way these days, and the M2, nah, Swin(e)don ’s better
August 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
For a traditionally-inspired extra special Fear Factor Effect they would need to loudly announce they were to start digging in the area starting at Blackheath and ending at Gravesend. It can’t be that much more inconvenient than Swindon. Large Dredgers could take the place of horse and cart with the added bonus of transporting the load down the Thames most of the way (saving the trains for the millions of people who want to get on with their daily business) . For the last leg of the journey, with someone very skilled at the catapult there would be no need for a touchdown onto land at all.
Too obvious and simple an idea for the Government to think up though….
.
August 20th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
It’ll have to be Waitrose, all the serfs at Lidl will have colds…..
August 20th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
The railways will stop running on day one as train crews stay at home to avoid infection. The new breed of rubbish incinerators currently funded by the government will be painted white and labled A&E Vaccination Centres. The gullible and greedy will queue to be first inside for ‘treatment’. The only way to be safe will be to barricade yourself in a Waitrose, or if you are working class a Lidl, and sit it out
August 20th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Swin(e)don sounds a good place, the M4 , and the main London to the West train services, and not far from Heathrow….