Four Britons Killed Cows

FOUR people in Britain have been murdered by cows in the past two months.

June 21: Vet Liz Crowsley crushed against a wall and trampled underfoot. Dogs present.

July 15: Barry Pilgrim, “trampled to death by a cow as his wife looked on.”

July 18: Anita Hinchey attacked and trampled to death by cow.

Harold Lee, “a 75-year-old farmer from Burtle in the West Country. He was killed by his own herd, which may have been made nervous by the siren of a passing ambulance.”

Or , as the Sun reported - “startled by a fire engine’s siren”:

A COW had to be shot dead yesterday after going on the rampage in a school - as a farmer became the fourth person trampled to death this summer.

The beast charged a cop and a woman with a baby after fleeing an abattoir-bound trailer.

Kids looked on in horror as armed officers fired 12 shots at the animal - before slitting its throat.

Dogs. Wife. Ambulance (fire engine). All triggers than cause a cow to attack and kill.

During the same period, Britons killed more than 4 cows. But these were eaten, mostly. The cows kill for sport. We might be winning the numbers game, but the fear factor lies with the bovine enemy.

But what to look for? A man from the National Farmers’ Union advises:

“It’s to do with spring and autumn calving. In the autumn, cattle will be coming into winter housing but in spring you want them out grazing the grass.”

The expert says that cows are killing people because in the spring the cows like to be outside eating grass, which grow under the sun and rain. Hey, that’s the expert’s point of view. You may well think different.

Beware of the cows. Beware of the Nazi cows. Roaring cows are attacking Britons, and poisoning our Great British air over our Great British countryside.

And they are in cahoots with the other herbivores:

Cows are not the only livestock causing problems this summer. Yesterday a farmer described his ordeal after becoming one of the first people in Britain to be bitten by an alpaca, the South American relative of the llama.

It’s war with the plant eaters. Kill a vegetarian - before they get you!

Anorak

Posted: 25th, August 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink