John Prescott Declares Gore On China
JOHN Prescott is not appering on Strictly Come Dancing. What John Prescott is doing is lecturing the Chinese on global warming.
Global warming is the Celebity Squares of world diplomacy.
Richard North looks on, aghast:
John Prescott has landed his most bizarre job yet - as professor of climate change at a Chinese university. Prezza (pictured) has confounded his critics with his new role at Xiamen University on the south east coast of the country where he will give occasional lectures on global warming.
The honour is seen as recognition of the former Deputy PM’s role in negotiating the 1997 Kyoto Treaty to combat climate change. A friend said: “He’s delighted. These professorships are awarded only to senior statesmen and Nobel prize-winners.” On Wednesday, he will launch a New Earth Deal campaign to highlight the impact of climate change ahead of a key conference in Copenhagen.
This is the same Two Jags, One Rover John Prescott who:
Mr Prescott needed the third car because he was not allowed - unlike the prime minister - to use government cars to attend party events, his office said. The car famously fea tured at Bournemouth last year when he and his wife, Pauline, used it to travel 250 yards from the hotel to the conference hall. Mr Prescott claimed that if he had walked along the seafront it would have ruined his wife’s hair-do.
To place a tin lid on Prescott’s ambitions, know that he “is also working on an eco-film along the lines of ex-US vice president al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth.”
Note: Precott loves the Chinese- and, yes, he can eat a whole one:
HAVING cleared his desk of biscuit wrappers and secretaries, John Prescott trots along to his Hull Chinese restaurant du jour, the Chu China Palace, “the largest Chinese restaurant in the UK”.
And that’s just the menu. As Prezza once said, this is “my favourite restaurant in the whole world”, dedicating his memoirs to it, including between pages 34 and 39 a full menu with take away details and recommendations.
Manager Jimmy Chu is said to be delighted as Prescott agrees to stand by Christine Wei Qin Zhong, 27. It is the moment of her marriage.
Says a windy John Prescott: “Better out than in.“
Spotter: Tim Blair, Mr Eugenides
Posted: 26th, August 2009 | In: Politicians Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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August 26th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Brown -nosers , who are they? had thought more this chappie
Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw–
For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime–Macavity’s not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no on like Macavity,
He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime–Macavity’s not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air–
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there!
Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square–
But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there!
He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard’s.
And when the larder’s looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke’s been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair–
Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! Macavity’s not there!
And when the Foreign Office finds a Treaty’s gone astray,
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
There may be a scap of paper in the hall or on the stair–
But it’s useless of investigate–Macavity’s not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
“It must have been Macavity!”–but he’s a mile away.
You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macacity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibit, or one or two to spare:
And whatever time the deed took place–MACAVITY WASN’T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
TS Elliot
August 26th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I quite like Prezza - along with Bonkers Boris and Anne Widdicombe, he’s one of the few genuinely entertaining politicians left, in these days of Brown-nosers and Cameron-clones.