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Woman Scared For Life By Naked Neighbour’s Hairy Sausage

by | 3rd, September 2009

sausage-tosserDENISE Woodage tells Reading Crown Court that she has been put off sausages for life by the sight of her “oddball” her neighbour Paul Darlow masturbating in his back garden in Churchwood Walk, Calcot.

What kind of sausages is unsaid, but Anorak guesses it’s those ones you get from caravan’s parked in motorway laybys, the ones with the meatballs still attached.

What is more, Woodage says she all too frequently saw “pale and hairy” Darlow going about his household chores wearing only a pair of boots.

Darlow denies indecent exposure with intent to cause alarm or distress. He admits to judge Zoë Smith to touching himself outdoors. The court finds him guilt and the 53-year-old is jailed for six weeks.

Woodage, 54, says she is now on anti-depressants. Says she:

“I am now on anti-depressants and also sleeping tablets – this has really affected me. There are not many houses in this street and [there are] a lot of children. I would’ve hated for them to see Darlow flashing.

“I didn’t even know his name when I first saw him but I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it. He looks younger than he is and he was well-endowed and really hairy.

“It has put me off men. Initially I didn’t think anyone would believe me. When it happened again I raced over to my neighbour’s house – I didn’t want to go to another neighbour as he has a poor heart and I was worried about the shock. This has affected me so much. I do not like going out now. He has been given a jail sentence but I have received a life sentence.”

Sarah Darlow, the jailed man’s wife, opines:

“I stuck by him throughout the case but now I have left him. He obviously needs help and he said he is willing to get it.”

Or just a taller fence and net curtains…

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Posted: 3rd, September 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink