Peter Andre Says Katie Price Is Like ‘Raging Psychopath’ Lord Voldemort

PETER Andre is topless on the cover of OK! magazine, holding up his pair of children in the manner of his now former wife Katie Price advertising her Jordans, her books and her perfumes.

Beneath Pete’s Marbella-warmed nipples is the headline:

“KATIE STOP SENDING ME LOVE TEXTS.”

So says Dignified Pete, the stoic face of what was once a marriage on a minor cable TV channel.

Inside the magazine and Pete and his Jordanettes, Junior and Princess Tianminime, are eating watermelon with their fingers. Oddly, there is watermelon cut up on a plate before them, in chunks. Is this for mummy? Pete has some “explosive information he wants to share.”

“Kate I texted me two weeks ago saying she is still in love with me. I’ve not been sending abusive texts. I haven’t responded – I will never go back. Never.”

Such is the weight of dignified Pete’s, er, non-response to allegations that he has been abusive.

Dignified Peter Andre who has already, reportedly, called ex-wife Katie Price “cheap” and “disgusting“, accused her of making “dirty money” and labelled her “despicable“.

Now “finally” Pete is “moving on”.

“There’s a certain name I’m not going to mention” before half-smiling… “it’s a bit like Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter isn’t it’?”

Dignified Pete is comparing she who will remain nameless to a work of fiction that its creator, JK Rowling, called a “raging psychopath, devoid of the normal human responses to other people’s suffering“.

What else Pete?

“In the months after Pete left his wife, he had a single to promote but he steadfastly refused to talks about the marriage, the split and his reasons for leaving.”

You can read about Pete’s non-talking here.

Pete than compares Katie to smoking “the killer weed”:

“You love smoking, you know it’s bad for you and you know there’s no happy ending with your cigarette. You know you have to quit.”

The analogy is not all that trite. Peter’s continued banging on about his ex-wife is much like the reformed smoker telling the smoker how many days they’ve not smoked for, replacing one habit with another.

Peter is now pictured again with the kidzzzz. Pete wants to show us how well he and the kidzzzzzz get along. Most people love their kids, and don’t feel a need to show it off. They realise that talking about your kidzzzz to other people is akin to tapping a smoker on the shoulder and telling them about how you no longer smoke…

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File photo dated 12/01/05 of Katie Price and Peter Andre, whose three-year marriage of Katie Price and Peter Andre came to an end in just over a minute today at London's High Court.

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Posted: 9th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery, Key Posts, OK! Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink